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Kerfluffles Review: The Marshmallow Has Evolved
I love me some marshmallows. Those sweet and chewy treats we indulge ourselves in, usually only on special occasions, like camping trips or Ghostbusters marathons. They haven’t changed much, mostly because I imagine it’d be difficult to improve on something as close to perfect as a marshmallow. But when Spring Barnickle looked at a marshmallow she saw a pathetic excuse for a treat, so she set it aflame. As she watched it whither up into a ball of molten white goo and ash, Spring concocted a design for a new marshmallow, a better marshmallow. A Kerfluffle.
In July of last year, Spring — who I’ve just realized I forgot to mention has the best name ever — decided to take her dream of elevating the marshmallow to the Internet, and specifically, the crowd-funding site, Kickstarter.
She asked for $2,023, and after thirty days her campaign had raised $104,667. Apparently, people were on board.
As a marshmallow connoisseur myself — okay, not really, I just really enjoy sweets — I was giddy when Spring responded to my request to send over some samples so I could write about them. I’m sure it was a little strange getting a request like that for a feature on a horror site like Bloody Disgusting, but us horror fans enjoy our sweets too, and marshmallows pair fantastically well with horror movies, games, books, ghost stories, etc.
It didn’t take long for a box filled with bags of squishy goodies to arrive on my doorstep. In it was five bags and two adorable key chains. Three large bags held a couple dozen Kerfluffles in chocolate chip cookie dough, orange dreamsicle and mocha chip flavors. Nestled alongside those were two smaller bags filled with Triple Berry Chip and Cookies ‘n’ Cream.
I was like a kid on Christmas. A kid with a hunger in his eyes and a box filled with delicious homemade treats.
Before my stomach could take over, professionalism took its place. Instead of embracing my instincts, which were shouting at me to forget the review and just gorge myself on these tasty treats, I decided I would take one from each bag to sample the flavors, texture, mouthfeel.
That’s right, I said mouthfeel. In the mouthfeel department, I’d rate Kerfluffles somewhere between amazing and unforgettable. They’re soft and chewy, cut into bite-sized cubes that are perfectly sized for a single, glorious bite.
My favorite was difficult to pinpoint, but I think it ended up being the orange dreamsicle. They’re so refreshing, like taking a bite out of spring. Not Spring, that’d be mean — and rude, especially after she sent me treats.
The vanilla bean and the citrus flavor from the oranges — there are even little bits of orange zest sprinkled about for added texture — work brilliantly together. I immediately fell in love with them.
The orange dreamsicle ones were fantastic, but the flavor that came in at a close second was easily chocolate chip cookie dough.
They’re sweet and chewy, like the others, but each bite also brings with it a strong probability of getting a chunk of chocolate chip cookie dough. These babies are all completely hand-made, and this fact extends to the cookie dough, which is made from scratch before being mixed with the vanilla flavored marshmallows.
They. Are. Amazing.
The cookies ‘n’ cream ones were pretty great, too. I emptied that bag over a late-night Saints Row IV marathon and I found they made me roughly 56% more badass at the game. Individual results may vary, but they helped me kick Zinyak’s shiny pink ass. I also used a few of these in s’mores.
Yeah, I definitely recommend you do that.
Next up are the mocha chip Kerfluffles. I’m not a huge fan of espresso or dark chocolate, but that didn’t keep me from eating the entire bag of mocha chip ones by the end of the first week. They were the last to go, but only because my stomach was threatening to release its contents after I finished the first four bags.
In case you haven’t noticed, I have no willpower whatsoever.
The mocha chip Kerfluffles come with freshly brewed espresso flavoring that’s mixed with natural cocoa and tons of mini dark chocolate chips. They’re an amazing treat in the morning… or the afternoon, evening, whatever.
And finally, we have the triple berry chip. It’s no secret that berries and chocolate work wonderfully together, and that doesn’t change when we’re talking about marshmallows. These Kerfluffles were the most complex, as they married strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and mini-chocolate chips. There’s a lot going on, and unless you don’t like one or more of those ingredients, I guarantee you’ll enjoy them.
If you’d rather I shut up so you can get your own Kerfluffles, you can do so by Kerfluffle shuffling on down to the home of the Kerfluffle and placing an order. Tell them Adam sent you. It won’t do anything, but maybe Spring will hear about it and send me more.
Also, if you’re worried about your health — you weirdo — these treats are all-natural and free of gluten, preservatives, dyes, and sulfites. There are some that are dairy-free and they even have vegan Kerfluffles. Everyone can be happy!
In case you’re wondering why I just reviewed homemade marshmallows, feel free to take a look at other reviews I’ve done in this series. Ultimate Gamer Lounge is essentially a library of reviews of things I think are essential for the average gamer. They range from edibles, like Mountain Dew Pitch Black, to computer peripherals and even massive beanbag chairs.
This series covers a little of everything, but if I’m reviewing it here, you can be sure it’s something you should be interested in.
They will ruin marshmallows, or make them better, depending on how you look at it.
Chocolate chip cookie dough has bits of dough lining wall of package
Kerfluffle shuffle
Have a question? Feel free to ever-so-gently toss Adam an email, or follow him on Twitter and Bloody Disgusting.
We are now one full month into Spring 2024, which kicked off on Tuesday, March 19 and comes to an end with the start of Summer on Thursday, June 20. This year’s summer movie season has a whole bunch of exciting horror highlights, including A Quiet Place: Day One, MaXXXine, and Alien: Romulus, but let’s hold that particular thought until June rolls around.
We’re here today to talk about Spring 2024 and the many horrors we still have left before the weather gets warmer and we find ourselves in the heat of one hell of a spooky summer.
Here are 12 horror movies you don’t want to miss in Spring 2024!
STING – April 12
Two words: SPIDER HORROR. Writer/Director Kiah Roache-Turner (Wyrmwood) hopes to induce eight-legged terror with his brand new horror movie Sting, only in theaters April 12.
Of particular note, Sting features practical spider effects from 5-time Academy Award Winner Weta Workshop, with the spider in this one inspired by H.R. Giger’s Xenomorph!
In Sting, “One cold, stormy night in New York City, a mysterious object falls from the sky and smashes through the window of a rundown apartment building. It is an egg, and from this egg emerges a strange little spider. The creature is discovered by Charlotte, a rebellious 12-year-old girl obsessed with comic books. Keeping it as a secret pet, she names it Sting.
“But as Charlotte’s fascination with Sting increases, so does its size. Growing at a monstrous rate, Sting’s appetite for blood becomes insatiable.”
BLACKOUT – APRIL 12
Indie darling Larry Fessenden is back with new horror movie Blackout this Spring, Fessenden’s third movie – following Habit and Depraved – to put his own spin on classic monsters.
While Habit was centered on vampires and Depraved was a fresh take on Frankenstein’s Monster, Larry Fessenden’s Blackout is the filmmaker’s contribution to werewolf cinema.
The film follows Charley, an artist whose drinking binges blur with his sneaking suspicion that he might be a werewolf. He distances himself from those he loves and sinks deeper into solitude, his flashes of memory of his nighttime grisly acts manifested through his artwork.
ARCADIAN – APRIL 12
If Nicolas Cage is covered in blood, you better believe we’re going to be watching. Cage gets his own A Quiet Place with Arcadian, a new creature feature coming to theaters April 12.
In Arcadian, which also comes to Shudder later this year, “After a catastrophic event depopulates the world, a father (Nicolas Cage) and his two sons must survive their dystopian environment while being threatened by mysterious creatures that emerge at night.”
Jaeden Martell (IT 2017) also stars in the post apocalyptic monster movie.
ABIGAIL – APRIL 19
If you’re bummed about Melissa Barrera being fired from the Scream franchise, you’ll definitely want to get out to your local theater this month to support Abigail, the new VAMPIRE BALLERINA horror movie from Scream and Scream VI directors Radio Silence.
Barrera stars alongside fellow horror favorite Kathryn Newton (Freaky) in Abigail, which is actually the latest horror movie in Universal’s relaunched Universal Monsters Universe.
In the film, “After a group of would-be criminals kidnap the 12-year-old ballerina daughter of a powerful underworld figure, all they have to do to collect a $50 million ransom is watch the girl overnight. In an isolated mansion, the captors start to dwindle, one by one, and they discover, to their mounting horror, that they’re locked inside with no normal little girl.”
LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL – APRIL 19
One of the most talked about horror movies of Spring 2024 has been the Halloween 1977-set Late Night With the Devil, which has been playing in theaters since its premiere on March 22.
Late Night with the Devil will begin streaming at home on April 19, 2024, less than one month after arriving in theaters. Shudder will be the exclusive streaming home of the movie.
David Dastmalchian (Dune, The Suicide Squad) stars as the host of a late-night talk show that descends into a nightmare in Late Night with the Devil, set on Halloween 1977.
In the found footage-style film that captures a period aesthetic, “A live television broadcast in 1977 goes horribly wrong, unleashing evil into the nation’s living rooms.”
INFESTED – APRIL 26
Spring 2024 is all about SPIDERS – sorry, arachnophobes! – with the previously mentioned Sting being followed by the French creature feature Infested (Vermines) later this month.
What’s particularly exciting about Infested is that its director, Sébastien Vaniček, has been hired to direct the next installment in the Evil Dead film franchise, so this will be our first taste of what Vaniček is capable of within the genre. And the buzz for this one is strong.
In his review out of Fantastic Fest last year, for starters, Bloody Disgusting’s own critic Trace Thurman raved that Infested is “one of the best spider attack movies in years.”
In the upcoming horror film, “Fascinated by exotic animals, Kaleb finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap.”
HUMANE – APRIL 26
The daughter of horror master David Cronenberg, Caitlin Cronenberg is making her own mark in the genre filmmaking space with IFC Films’ Humane, coming to theaters this month.
The film is described as “a dystopian satire taking place over a single day, months after a global ecological collapse has forced world leaders to reduce the earth’s population.”
The wild premise? 20% of the world’s population must VOLUNTEER TO DIE!
“In a wealthy enclave, a recently retired newsman has invited his grown children to dinner to announce his intentions to enlist in the nation’s new euthanasia program. But when the father’s plan goes horribly awry, tensions flare and chaos erupts among his children.”
I SAW THE TV GLOW – MAY 3
Fresh off the haunting and singularly creepy indie We’re All Going to the World’s Fair, Jane Schoenbrun is back with A24‘s I Saw the TV Glow, releasing only in theaters this May.
Meagan Navarro wrote in her Sundance review for BD, “I Saw the TV Glow offers a layered and authentic portrait of identity, wrapped in ’90s nostalgia and surreal imagery that embeds itself deep into your psyche.” Meagan continues, “Schoenbrun delivers a singular vision of arthouse horror that entrances for its fevered dream style and insanely cool imagery.”
In A24’s latest, “Owen is just trying to make it through life in the suburbs when his classmate introduces him to a mysterious TV show — a vision of a supernatural world beneath their own. In the pale glow of the television, Owen’s view of reality begins to crack.”
TAROT – MAY 3
Originally titled Horrorscope, a much better title if you’re asking me, Screen Gems returns to the big screen with studio horror movie Tarot this Spring, a Tarot-card themed spookshow.
When a group of friends recklessly violates the sacred rule of Tarot readings – never use someone else’s deck – they unknowingly unleash an unspeakable evil trapped within the cursed cards in the upcoming Screen Gems horror movie Tarot. One by one, they come face to face with fate and end up in a race against death to escape the future foretold in their readings.
The hook for this one? Artist Trevor Henderson designed the film’s eight monsters!
THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 1 – MAY 17
Bryan Bertino’s 2008 home invasion classic The Strangers spawns a brand new reboot trilogy this year, with first film The Strangers: Chapter 1 kicking things off in theaters on May 17.
The Strangers: Chapter 2 is expected to follow in Fall 2024.
Madelaine Petsch is the lead of the new reboot trilogy, playing a character who drives cross-country with her longtime boyfriend to begin a new life in the Pacific Northwest.
When their car breaks down in Venus, Oregon, they’re forced to spend the night in a secluded Airbnb, where they are terrorized from dusk till dawn by three masked strangers.
IN A VIOLENT NATURE – MAY 31
Slasher fans who have been hungry for a new Friday the 13th movie won’t want to miss In a Violent Nature, which plays out like a Friday movie… entirely from Jason’s perspective!
IFC Films will release In a Violent Nature exclusively in theaters on May 31.
In the film, “When a locket is removed from a collapsed fire tower in the woods that entombs the rotting corpse of Johnny, a vengeful spirit spurred on by a horrific 60-year old crime, his body is resurrected and becomes hellbent on retrieving it. The undead golem hones in on the group of vacationing teens responsible for the theft and proceeds to methodically slaughter them one by one in his mission to get it back – along with anyone in his way.”
Meagan Navarro wrote in her Sundance review for Bloody Disgusting, “In a Violent Nature may offer slasher thrills and a delightfully gory rampage across the wilderness, but the approach captures the carnage through ambient realism. It results in a fascinating arthouse horror experiment that plays more like a minimalist slice-of-life feature with a grim twist.”
THE WATCHERS – JUNE 14
M. Night Shyamalan returns with the new thriller Trap this coming August, but the road to that film’s release will be paved by the feature debut of his daughter, Ishana Night Shyamalan.
Ishana Night directed The Watchers, in theaters from WB/New Line on June 14.
The film follows Mina, a 28-year-old artist, who gets stranded in an expansive, untouched forest in western Ireland. When Mina finds shelter, she unknowingly becomes trapped alongside three strangers who are watched and stalked by mysterious creatures each night.
Which Spring 2024 horror movies are YOU most looking forward to?
4 New Horror Movies Releasing This Week Including ‘Late Night with the Devil’ at Home
Spring 2024 Horror Preview: 12 Horror Movies You Don’t Want to Miss
The ‘Scary Movie’ Spoof Franchise Is Getting a Reboot at Paramount!
‘Ready or Not’: Radio Silence Filmmakers Tease the “Absolute Banger” of a Sequel That’s Taking Shape
“We Built Every Creature” – ‘Alien: Romulus’ Goes Heavy on the Old School Practical Effects!
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