I love me some marshmallows. Those sweet and chewy treats we indulge ourselves in, usually only on special occasions, like camping trips or Ghostbusters marathons. They haven’t changed much, mostly because I imagine it’d be difficult to improve on something as close to perfect as a marshmallow. But when Spring Barnickle looked at a marshmallow she saw a pathetic excuse for a treat, so she set it aflame. As she watched it whither up into a ball of molten white goo and ash, Spring concocted a design for a new marshmallow, a better marshmallow. A Kerfluffle.
In July of last year, Spring — who I’ve just realized I forgot to mention has the best name ever — decided to take her dream of elevating the marshmallow to the Internet, and specifically, the crowd-funding site, Kickstarter.
She asked for $2,023, and after thirty days her campaign had raised $104,667. Apparently, people were on board.
As a marshmallow connoisseur myself — okay, not really, I just really enjoy sweets — I was giddy when Spring responded to my request to send over some samples so I could write about them. I’m sure it was a little strange getting a request like that for a feature on a horror site like Bloody Disgusting, but us horror fans enjoy our sweets too, and marshmallows pair fantastically well with horror movies, games, books, ghost stories, etc.
It didn’t take long for a box filled with bags of squishy goodies to arrive on my doorstep. In it was five bags and two adorable key chains. Three large bags held a couple dozen Kerfluffles in chocolate chip cookie dough, orange dreamsicle and mocha chip flavors. Nestled alongside those were two smaller bags filled with Triple Berry Chip and Cookies ‘n’ Cream.
I was like a kid on Christmas. A kid with a hunger in his eyes and a box filled with delicious homemade treats.
Before my stomach could take over, professionalism took its place. Instead of embracing my instincts, which were shouting at me to forget the review and just gorge myself on these tasty treats, I decided I would take one from each bag to sample the flavors, texture, mouthfeel.
That’s right, I said mouthfeel. In the mouthfeel department, I’d rate Kerfluffles somewhere between amazing and unforgettable. They’re soft and chewy, cut into bite-sized cubes that are perfectly sized for a single, glorious bite.
My favorite was difficult to pinpoint, but I think it ended up being the orange dreamsicle. They’re so refreshing, like taking a bite out of spring. Not Spring, that’d be mean — and rude, especially after she sent me treats.
The vanilla bean and the citrus flavor from the oranges — there are even little bits of orange zest sprinkled about for added texture — work brilliantly together. I immediately fell in love with them.
The orange dreamsicle ones were fantastic, but the flavor that came in at a close second was easily chocolate chip cookie dough.
They’re sweet and chewy, like the others, but each bite also brings with it a strong probability of getting a chunk of chocolate chip cookie dough. These babies are all completely hand-made, and this fact extends to the cookie dough, which is made from scratch before being mixed with the vanilla flavored marshmallows.
They. Are. Amazing.
The cookies ‘n’ cream ones were pretty great, too. I emptied that bag over a late-night Saints Row IV marathon and I found they made me roughly 56% more badass at the game. Individual results may vary, but they helped me kick Zinyak’s shiny pink ass. I also used a few of these in s’mores.
Yeah, I definitely recommend you do that.
Next up are the mocha chip Kerfluffles. I’m not a huge fan of espresso or dark chocolate, but that didn’t keep me from eating the entire bag of mocha chip ones by the end of the first week. They were the last to go, but only because my stomach was threatening to release its contents after I finished the first four bags.
In case you haven’t noticed, I have no willpower whatsoever.
The mocha chip Kerfluffles come with freshly brewed espresso flavoring that’s mixed with natural cocoa and tons of mini dark chocolate chips. They’re an amazing treat in the morning… or the afternoon, evening, whatever.
And finally, we have the triple berry chip. It’s no secret that berries and chocolate work wonderfully together, and that doesn’t change when we’re talking about marshmallows. These Kerfluffles were the most complex, as they married strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and mini-chocolate chips. There’s a lot going on, and unless you don’t like one or more of those ingredients, I guarantee you’ll enjoy them.
If you’d rather I shut up so you can get your own Kerfluffles, you can do so by Kerfluffle shuffling on down to the home of the Kerfluffle and placing an order. Tell them Adam sent you. It won’t do anything, but maybe Spring will hear about it and send me more.
Also, if you’re worried about your health — you weirdo — these treats are all-natural and free of gluten, preservatives, dyes, and sulfites. There are some that are dairy-free and they even have vegan Kerfluffles. Everyone can be happy!
In case you’re wondering why I just reviewed homemade marshmallows, feel free to take a look at other reviews I’ve done in this series. Ultimate Gamer Lounge is essentially a library of reviews of things I think are essential for the average gamer. They range from edibles, like Mountain Dew Pitch Black, to computer peripherals and even massive beanbag chairs.
This series covers a little of everything, but if I’m reviewing it here, you can be sure it’s something you should be interested in.
They will ruin marshmallows, or make them better, depending on how you look at it.
Chocolate chip cookie dough has bits of dough lining wall of package
AROUND THE WEB
this week in horror
This Week in Horror - November 21, 2017 - Halloween, X-Files, ...
Danny McBride reveals more details about the upcoming Halloween sequel, Season 12 of The X-Files is coming very soon, and the Are You Afraid of the Dark? movie has its writer! It's THIS WEEK IN HORROR with Whitney Moore!Posted by Bloody Disgusting on Wednesday, November 22, 2017