5. GUILT
I’m going to say it right now: get the hell out of that guilt stage. Don’t listen to Prince’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” or anything Fiona Apple in this stage. You’ll never get out of it. “Country Death Song” is the fantastic for the guilt stage. You can admit to guilt and still keep your dignity, son. Go hang yourself in the barn, go take your short trip to hell, listen to the Violent Femmes because they’re killer and then get the hell out of guiltland. Because next up is depression, and you’ll inevitably spend too much time there.