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A Plea to Make the New “X-Files” Limited Series Amazing

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Hi, my name is Trace and I have only seen one episode of The X-Files. I know that is terrible, but when I was growing up I wasn’t allowed to watch it. Though for some reason, my mother thought it would be fine to go see The X-Files Movie in theaters with the whole family (the reasoning behind that is a mystery to me). I digress. I like to consider myself on top of most things TV and movie related, but I am very sad to say that I never went back and watched all of The X-Files (and the thought of binge-watching 9 seasons is daunting to say the least). You can imagine how left out I felt when it was announced that FOX would be renewing the series for a 6-episode limited series. I felt that I needed to write a post to explain my conundrum.

As I mentioned above: I have only seen one episode of The X-Files. I have also seen both movies in theaters. The one episode I have seen is the second episode of the show’s fourth season: “Home.” Why have I seen that episode, you ask? Because that episode is always mentioned on “Greatest TV Episodes of All Time” lists of “Most Disturbing TV Episodes of All Time” lists, so I thought it only appropriate to at least watch that one.

I loved “Home.” A lot. I enjoyed the first movie, and I was kind of bored during the second movie. I fully realize that watching those three things do not make me an X-Files expert in the slightest, but since those are the only three pieces of The X-Files that I have ever seen, that is all I can go off of right now when I make a plea to the TV gods to please make this new limited series amazing. Make it more like “Home,” and less like The X-Files: I Want To Believe. Basically, I don’t want another Arrested Development Season 4.

I know some of you will cry foul: I’m bitching about something I know nothing about, but that’s really not what I’m  doing here. Presumably, I have seen The X-Files at it’s best (“Home”) and at its worst (the movie’s sequel). Bear in mind that I didn’t hate I Want To Believe like so many other people did, it was just kind of forgettable to me. All I’m asking is that for the sake of the show’s millions of fans, make the show’s 13-year hiatus worth it. I have faith, especially considering that original stars Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny will both be returning. Series creator Chris Carter will also be overseeing the new episodes, which does inspire confidence.

All of this being said, my goal this year is to watch all of The X-Files and be done by the time this new season airs so I can make a better judgment on its quality. What do you think? Do you think my request is a valid one? Or do I just need to shut up and let it happen? I can’t help but be both extremely excited and nervous about the quality of the new episodes we are going to get. I’m cautiously optimistic. TV gods, please, don’t f**k it up.

A journalist for Bloody Disgusting since 2015, Trace writes film reviews and editorials, as well as co-hosts Bloody Disgusting's Horror Queers podcast, which looks at horror films through a queer lens. He has since become dedicated to amplifying queer voices in the horror community, while also injecting his own personal flair into film discourse. Trace lives in Denver, CO with his husband and their two dogs. Find him on Twitter @TracedThurman

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Editorials

6 Dark Fantasy Films That Every Genre Fan Should Watch

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Dark Fantasy Films

From child-eating witches to village-burning dragons, fairy tales have always had a foot in the horror genre. That’s why it makes sense that, for every The Hobbit and The Chronicles of Narnia, there are also darker and more adult-oriented stories about magical worlds inhabited by ravenous monsters and cruel villains.

Funnily enough, these sinister tales were precisely the ones that I gravitated towards back when I was a kid, and I was reminded of this while watching Netflix’s recently released I Am Frankelda, Mexico’s first ever feature-length stop-motion animation and one hell of an entertaining parable about the intersection between fiction and reality.

In honor of this special kind of horror-adjacent fairy tale, today I’d like to share this list recommending six Dark Fantasy films that horror fans might enjoy.

For the purposes of this list, we’ll be defining Dark Fantasy as fantastical stories that don’t shy away from the more macabre elements that fuel classic fairy tales. That being said, don’t forget to comment below with your own grim favorites if you think we missed a particularly thrilling one.

With that out of the way, onto the list!


6. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

I’m fascinated by bizarre attempts at blockbuster filmmaking – especially when the resulting movies are somehow still fun despite their corporate-mandated origins. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is precisely one of these strangely compelling studio projects, as this surprisingly successful action-thriller boasts a lot of heart (and tongue-in-cheek humor) for a CGI-heavy creature feature.

Directed by Dead Snow’s Tommy Wirkola, Witch Hunters re-frames the classic fairy tale as an origin story for a duo of badass monster-slayers. Of course, it’s the flick’s anachronistic aesthetic and overall visual flair that make it stand out from other action-horror endeavors from around the same time.


5. The Wolf House (2018)

Made in the tradition of faux cursed films in the same vein as Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made, the eerie backstory to 2018’s Chilean animated flick The Wolf House (La Casa Lobo in the original Spanish) already makes it a nightmarish experience before the flick even really begins.

After all, the movie is presented to us as a faux propaganda film produced by the leader of a death cult (heavily inspired by the real life Colonia Dignidad), with this hybrid animated feature using complex movie magic to simulate a single uninterrupted shot as it tells the story of a lazy young girl who runs away from an isolated colony and encounters a creepy old house in the woods.


4. The Brothers Grimm (2005)

Out of all the Monty Python alumni, Terry Gilliam has had the most interesting career outside of the original comedy group. From fascinating canceled projects (such as his scrapped adaptation of Watchmen) to dystopian parodies that feel more relevant by the minute (1985’s Brazil), even his “lesser” films are still intriguing in their own way.

2005’s The Brothers Grimm is one such project, with this peculiar movie attempting to combine the comedian-turned-filmmaker’s unique visual style with a more blockbuster-oriented plot reimagining the titular brothers as con-artists rather than mere writers. The end result isn’t exactly a masterpiece, but it’s still a legitimately fun ride with plenty of memorable monsters and wonderful performances by both the late, great Heath Ledger and Matt Damon.


3. Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

2010’s Dante’s Inferno game may have a reputation as something of an unapologetic God of War clone, but I’d argue that the now-obscure game was aesthetically unique enough to deserve a bigger fanbase. However, while the title remains trapped on the seventh console generation, its highly underrated anime adaptation is a lot easier to get a hold of!

Animated by 6 different studios in order to make the 9 circles of hell feel unique from each other, this may not be a completely faithful adaptation of Dante Alighieri’s poem, but it’s still one heck of a great (not to mention gory) time that I’d highly recommend to fans of Netflix’s take on Castlevania.


2. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

My personal favorite entry in the Underworld franchise, Rise of the Lycans, is a highly ambitious prequel that actually works better if you haven’t had the story spoiled to you by the previous Underworld films.

While the rest of the series features plenty of urban fantasy elements as the movies combine machine guns and modern environments with gothic storytelling, Patrick Tatopoulos’ prequel fully embraces its fantastical origins and tells a classic tale about a doomed romance between a werewolf and a vampire amid a medieval uprising.

And the best part is that we get a lot more Michael Sheen as the fan-favorite Lucian.


1. Solomon Kane (2011)

One of my personal favorite movies on this list, MJ Basset’s criminally underseen adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s other iconic warrior is thoroughly steeped in horror ambience and features plenty of memorable monsters. However, it’s also a classic origin story for a swashbuckling hero that wouldn’t feel out of place in a tabletop RPG.

While I’ve already written about how the film deftly combines both horror and fantasy elements without breaking the bank, I’ll never pass up an opportunity to recommend the bizarre movie where James Purefoy expertly plays a puritan John Wick.

It’s just too bad that we never got the other films in this intended trilogy.

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