Editorials
A Definitive Ranking of the “American Horror Story” Seasons (Now With “Roanoke”!)
Back in September, I ranked the first five seasons of American Horror Story and promised you I would return to add Roanoke to the list once it finished its season. With the season finale of American Horror Story: Roanoke airing last night, the time has finally come! Where does Roanoke rank when compared to the other five seasons? Read on to find out!
6. Coven
If there was one word to describe Coven, it would be “mess.” Coven’s first half is great and it has it’s fun parts (it also has the best cast out of all the seasons), but it’s all too clear that Ryan Murphy and Co. did not plan ahead when writing this season. In fact, it almost seems like they made everything up as they went along. I stand by everything I said in my article from last year. The season arc of the new Supreme’s identity was never all that captivating, character actions lacked motivation and were inconsistent (LaLaurie specifically) and it was loaded with too many storylines while somehow still finding a way to leave some unresolved. It may have had a plethora of hilarious bitchy quips, but it’s still a sloppy series of television and definitely the worst offering from the series yet.

5. Freak Show
A lot of people seem to hate Freak Show. While it certainly lost steam towards the end of the season (as most seasons in American Horror Story are wont to do), it at least had more focus than the season that preceded it and served as a decent send-off for series mainstay Jessica Lange. Freak Show’s biggest crimes were completely wasting Kathy Bates and peaking too early with the Twisty the Clown sub-plot before abruptly killing him off. Dandy, obnoxious as he was, made for a supremely entertaining villain (his comeuppance is one of the season’s highlights). One could say that Freak Show, as a whole, was somewhat forgettable. It wasn’t overtly bad; the whole just never amounted to more than the sum of its parts.

4. Hotel
While I maintain that Lady Gaga did not deserve the Golden Globe she won for Hotel (#JusticeForKirstenDunst, #NoReallySheIsAmazing), she did turn in an impressive performance in the series’s fifth season. Her story line as well as that of Kathy Bates’s Iris and Dennis O’Hare’s Liz Taylor carried the majority of Hotel. Unfortunately everything involving the Ten Commandments Killer and anything involving Chloë Sevigny ‘s character (can Ryan Murphy ever find a decent role for her?) dragged down the season. Angela Bassett’s vampire hunter and Sarah Paulson’s Hypodermic Sally felt like afterthoughts that never got their due, and don’t even get me started on that drill penis monster. Hotel was filled with plenty of good ideas, but had its fair share of bad ones too. If anything, it shows that a 10-episode season could benefit the show by forcing the writers to trim some fat off of the scripts. Speaking of 10-episode seasons, that brings me to…

3. Roanoke
Roanoke was so close to being great. Eschewing American Horror Story‘s penchant for pointless subplots and side characters, Roanoke used its shortest season yet (10 episodes as opposed to the usual 13) to the fullest. It was also the most focused out of all of the seasons. If only it had ended with Episode 9. The first half of the season focused on the show-within-a-show documentary “My Roanoke Nightmare”. Just when that shtick started to get old, the season pulled the rug out from under the audience with a devilishly clever twist in Episode 6. Those next few episodes put the first half of the season in an entirely new light, and it was fun to see the “actors” get to play themselves when put back in the house with the “real” people (Sarah Paulson’s grating Audrey was a highlight for me…she got some of the best lines!). It was gory, funny and (sometimes) actually scary. Too bad it petered out with a limp finale (as American Horror Story is wont to do, save for Asylum). Still, you have to give it credit for being the most focused out of all the seasons. And while it didn’t have a lot of depth or meaning over the course of the season, it sure was a lot of fun!

2. Murder House
Murder House is a strong season of American Horror Story, but the series was still working out a few kinks. It also represents American Horror Story before it really became American Horror Story. Still, Murder House is an effective piece of television that is marred only by a misguided finale that turned the entire season into a joke. It is definitely the most focused out of all the seasons. By concentrating on the Harmon family and relegating all other characters (including Jessica Lange’s Constance Langdon) to supporting roles, it allowed the series to build relationships effectively and naturally. The season just doesn’t have the same impact as Asylum, which is why it ranks just slightly below it.

1. Asylum
Asylum is a near-perfect season of American Horror Story. Had it jettisoned the alien sub-plot, it probably would have been perfect (it admittedly took a kitchen sink approach to the storytelling). Asylum is the only season to truly embody the horror in the show’s title all throughout the season. There is a sense of hopelessness in Asylum (though it still gives its protagonist a happy ending). It also has the most consistent narrative throughout the season when compared to the other four. Characters are well-defined and their actions feel earned. The villains are deliciously evil without becoming caricatures. Still, many people don’t like Asylum, and I’m not exactly sure why. It is hands-down the best season yet.

Does your opinion differ from mine? Let me know in the comments below or feel free to challenge me on Twitter!
Comics
‘Spider-Noir’ Comic Changes Explained: How the TV Series Reinvents Marvel’s Darkest Spider-Man
A little while back, I wrote an article chronicling the Hellraiser franchise’s affinity for Film Noir and touched on how that genre has, historically, always been connected to horror.
This connection can be observed in everything from the cannibalistic serial killers of Frank Miller’s Sin City to the disturbing criminal plots fueling neo-noir thrillers like Stuart Gordon’s underrated King of the Ants. That’s why it came as no surprise when I finally sat down to watch all eight episodes of Prime Video’s recently released Spider-Noir series and was confronted with plenty of classic horror tropes.
What did come as a surprise, however, was how showrunners Oren Uziel and Steve Lightfoot approached these horror elements when compared to the 2009 comic book that the show is based on. From the heavily altered rogue’s gallery to an equally terrifying yet completely different origin story for Nicolas Cage’s take on the webslinger, there are plenty of changes here that I feel might be of interest to genre fans.
With that in mind, I’d like to invite readers to take a closer look at all the adjustments that Spider-Noir made to the story in order to bring this incarnation of Spider-Man to life in all of its monochromatic glory (unless you watched the True-Hue color version of the show, in which case you’ll be treated to a surprisingly comic-booky palette that you don’t usually see on television).
The Dark Origins of Marvel’s Spider-Man Noir

Our first order of business should be to examine the origins of the Noir comics themselves. Originally published as part of the Marvel Noir alternate universe that reimagined several characters as hard-boiled crime-fighters, Spider-Man Noir became the most successful book in the entire run. This highly politicized story about Peter Parker coming to terms with the capitalist evils of the Great Depression seemed to have struck a nerve with audiences looking for a darker take on the wall-crawler, which is likely why we’d soon see several sequel stories as well as a video game adaptation of the character in 2010’s underrated Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions.
Of course, it wasn’t just Spider-Man’s darker disposition that made this version of the character a hit, as 1930s New York City was depicted as being much more hostile than what we generally see in the standard Marvel Universe. From Peter’s powers coming from an Eldritch Spider God that spawns man-eating arachnids to Vulture being an ex-Freak-Show Gimp with a taste for human flesh, you can definitely understand why this Web-Head isn’t pulling his punches.
Unfortunately, this alternate universe was a little too popular for its own good, with each subsequent sequel/adaptation further diluting the political anger and classic horror influences that fueled the original comic-book run in order to appeal to a wider audience. Spider-Man Noir was nearly unrecognizable once we got to the Spider-Verse crossover that turned the character into a household name, though this would at least lead to an interesting adaptation in 2018.
The Classic Horror Influences Hidden Throughout Spider-Noir

Jack Huston as Sandman in ‘Spider-Noir’
When Phil Lord and Chris Miller finally translated Spider-Man Noir to the big screen, with Nicolas Cage bringing the character to life in an unexpected case of pitch-perfect casting, he was still mostly relegated to comic relief as his nazi-punching antics and over-the-top edginess were played for laughs. However, while this version of the character had little to do with the comics that spawned him, Spider-Noir’s newfound popularity eventually resulted in the announcement of a darker live-action spin-off – a spin-off that I was cautiously optimistic about.
While the showrunners ultimately decided to go in a completely different direction than the 2009 comic, the new team of writers appeared to understand Noir as a genre in ways that even the folks at Marvel Noir couldn’t quite grasp. That’s likely why 2026’s Spider-Noir boasts plenty of horror elements, just not in ways we’ve seen them before.
The series is obviously borrowing tropes and aesthetics from period-accurate monster movies, with Universal’s 1930s output being a particularly big influence. From the re-imagining of Sandman and Tombstone as tragic figures to The Spider even being operated on by a mad scientist with hilariously antiquated techniques, this bizarre collection of super-powered freaks could have easily shown up in a classic creature feature.
The scares aren’t all retro, however, as the showrunners also injected plenty of body-horror into the mix during their attempt at unifying the origin stories for all these larger-than-life characters. Hell, the Spider himself is now revealed to have gained his powers after being bitten by a half-mutated Man-Spider during World War I, and the aforementioned mad scientist keeps a disturbing collection of failed experiments in her basement, proving that not all of her patients were lucky enough to simply gain superpowers after being experimented on.
Nicolas Cage Reinvents Spider-Man Noir for Television

Ben Reilly/Spiderman (Nicolas Cage) in SPIDER-NOIR
Photo: Aaron Epstein/Prime
© Amazon Content Services LLC
I also really appreciate how Cage insists on depicting Ben Reilly as an arachnid trapped inside of a human body, with his uncanny physical performance and classic Hollywood impressions keeping your eyes glued to the screen while also providing some of the show’s funniest moments.
I still think it’s a shame that the character is no longer politically motivated, and I miss the detail about Uncle Ben having been cannibalized by Vulture after his social activism ruffled too many feathers, but at least this time our protagonist actually feels like someone who could have been written by Raymond Chandler if he were a fan of Superheroes.
In fact, the writers nailed the snappy back-and-forth that Noir authors like Dashiel Hammett used to refer to as the “riposte”, and it’s fun to see supervillains being depicted as horrific movie monsters instead of specialized henchmen – with The Spider feeling like just as much of a Freak Show attraction as the rest of them. Purists might be put off by the lack of reverence for the source material, but I think that’s a small price to pay when even the show’s most clichéd moments intentionally harken back to the golden age of Hollywood.
That’s why I’d argue that Amazon’s Spider-Noir isn’t really an adaptation, but rather an equally valid take on the same premise that inspired Marvel back in 2009. And in a world filled with recycled storylines that only serve to advertise future releases, I’d rather have two completely different visions of the same character than a straight-up retelling of the same handful of ideas.
At the end of the day, there’s enough space inside this comic fan’s heart for both man-eating Vultures and a Cronenberg-inspired Man-Spider. And if you’re also a fan of nostalgic creature features with comic book flair, I’d highly recommend this street-level superhero story with a spooky twist.

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