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A Definitive Ranking of the “American Horror Story” Seasons (Now With “Roanoke”!)

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Back in September, I ranked the first five seasons of American Horror Story and promised you I would return to add Roanoke to the list once it finished its season. With the season finale of American Horror Story: Roanoke airing last night, the time has finally come! Where does Roanoke rank when compared to the other five seasons? Read on to find out!


6. Coven

If there was one word to describe Coven, it would be “mess.” Coven’s first half is great and it has it’s fun parts (it also has the best cast out of all the seasons), but it’s all too clear that Ryan Murphy and Co. did not plan ahead when writing this season. In fact, it almost seems like they made everything up as they went along. I stand by everything I said in my article from last year. The season arc of the new Supreme’s identity was never all that captivating, character actions lacked motivation and were inconsistent (LaLaurie specifically) and it was loaded with too many storylines while somehow still finding a way to leave some unresolved. It may have had a plethora of hilarious bitchy quips, but it’s still a sloppy series of television and definitely the worst offering from the series yet.

American Horror Story Ranked


5. Freak Show

A lot of people seem to hate Freak Show. While it certainly lost steam towards the end of the season (as most seasons in American Horror Story are wont to do), it at least had more focus than the season that preceded it and served as a decent send-off for series mainstay Jessica Lange. Freak Show’s biggest crimes were completely wasting Kathy Bates and peaking too early with the Twisty the Clown sub-plot before abruptly killing him off. Dandy, obnoxious as he was, made for a supremely entertaining villain (his comeuppance is one of the season’s highlights). One could say that Freak Show, as a whole, was somewhat forgettable. It wasn’t overtly bad; the whole just never amounted to more than the sum of its parts.

American Horror Story Ranked


4. Hotel

While I maintain that Lady Gaga did not deserve the Golden Globe she won for Hotel (#JusticeForKirstenDunst#NoReallySheIsAmazing), she did turn in an impressive performance in the series’s fifth season. Her story line as well as that of Kathy Bates’s Iris and Dennis O’Hare’s Liz Taylor carried the majority of Hotel. Unfortunately everything involving the Ten Commandments Killer and anything involving Chloë Sevigny ‘s character (can Ryan Murphy ever find a decent role for her?) dragged down the season. Angela Bassett’s vampire hunter and Sarah Paulson’s Hypodermic Sally felt like afterthoughts that never got their due, and don’t even get me started on that drill penis monster. Hotel was filled with plenty of good ideas, but had its fair share of bad ones too. If anything, it shows that a 10-episode season could benefit the show by forcing the writers to trim some fat off of the scripts. Speaking of 10-episode seasons, that brings me to…

American Horror Story Ranked


3. Roanoke

Roanoke was so close to being great. Eschewing American Horror Story‘s penchant for pointless subplots and side characters, Roanoke used its shortest season yet (10 episodes as opposed to the usual 13) to the fullest. It was also the most focused out of all of the seasons. If only it had ended with Episode 9. The first half of the season focused on the show-within-a-show documentary “My Roanoke Nightmare”. Just when that shtick started to get old, the season pulled the rug out from under the audience with a devilishly clever twist in Episode 6. Those next few episodes put the first half of the season in an entirely new light, and it was fun to see the “actors” get to play themselves when put back in the house with the “real” people (Sarah Paulson’s grating Audrey was a highlight for me…she got some of the best lines!). It was gory, funny and (sometimes) actually scary. Too bad it petered out with a limp finale (as American Horror Story is wont to do, save for Asylum). Still, you have to give it credit for being the most focused out of all the seasons. And while it didn’t have a lot of depth or meaning over the course of the season, it sure was a lot of fun!

ranking-american-horror-story-seasons


2. Murder House

Murder House is a strong season of American Horror Story, but the series was still working out a few kinks. It also represents American Horror Story before it really became American Horror Story. Still, Murder House is an effective piece of television that is marred only by a misguided finale that turned the entire season into a joke. It is definitely the most focused out of all the seasons. By concentrating on the Harmon family and relegating all other characters (including Jessica Lange’s Constance Langdon) to supporting roles, it allowed the series to build relationships effectively and naturally. The season just doesn’t have the same impact as Asylum, which is why it ranks just slightly below it.

American Horror Story Ranked


1. Asylum

Asylum is a near-perfect season of American Horror Story. Had it jettisoned the alien sub-plot, it probably would have been perfect (it admittedly took a kitchen sink approach to the storytelling). Asylum is the only season to truly embody the horror in the show’s title all throughout the season. There is a sense of hopelessness in Asylum (though it still gives its protagonist a happy ending). It also has the most consistent narrative throughout the season when compared to the other four. Characters are well-defined and their actions feel earned. The villains are deliciously evil without becoming caricatures. Still, many people don’t like Asylum, and I’m not exactly sure why. It is hands-down the best season yet.

Ranking American Horror Story

Does your opinion differ from mine? Let me know in the comments below or feel free to challenge me on Twitter!

A journalist for Bloody Disgusting since 2015, Trace writes film reviews and editorials, as well as co-hosts Bloody Disgusting's Horror Queers podcast, which looks at horror films through a queer lens. He has since become dedicated to amplifying queer voices in the horror community, while also injecting his own personal flair into film discourse. Trace lives in Denver, CO with his husband and their two dogs. Find him on Twitter @TracedThurman

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Editorials

‘The Real Ghostbusters’: 10 Must-Watch Episodes from the Classic Series Now Streaming

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must-watch "The Real Ghostbusters" Animated Series Appears on Amazon Prime Video!

No conversation about cartoons based on live-action movies is ever complete without mentioning The Real Ghostbusters.

This animated continuation is, warts and all, a notable example of turning a hit movie into a hit series. And although the new target demographic skewed a little younger, even kids-at-heart could partake in the further adventures of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore and Egon Spengler.

For a good part of its run, the show required fans to wait at least a week for more Ghostbustin’. That’s torture for a kiddo. Luckily, though, the entire series, or at least most of it, is now available for streaming.

So, as you revisit The Real Ghostbusters on Tubi—for now it’s just the first five seasons there—use this guide to help prioritize some must-see episodes.


The Boogieman Cometh

the real ghostbusters

“The Boogieman Cometh” (Season 1)

Season One’s “The Boogieman Cometh” is a classic episode featuring one of the show’s more iconic villains. It’s hard to forget the unique character design used for the Boogieman (whose creepy voice was provided by Ray and Slimer’s actor, Frank Welker). In this story, Egon is reunited with that bump-in-the-night entity who haunted his own childhood, all while trying to keep him away from his latest targets: the brother and sister claiming to have the Boogieman in their closet. Although the Ghostbusters do save the day here, the Boogieman eventually returns (“The Bogeyman Is Back“). That same episode also features the love-’em-or-hate-’em Junior Ghostbusters.


Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream

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“Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream” (Season 1)

You could say the namesake of “Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream” had good intentions for putting mankind to sleep for the next few centuries—he wanted to end war and keep everyone dreaming. Sounds nice until you remember that whole free will business. But when it seems like the Ghostbusters have lost to their latest foe, the last one standing, Winston, gains a sudden ally. Janine’s dream of becoming a Ghostbuster is manifested, and she helps put this rogue spirit to bed.


When Halloween Was Forever

ghostbusters

“When Halloween Was Forever” (Season 1)

Before the show’s execs capitalized on Slimer’s popularity by making him the focus of later episodes, early stories like “When Halloween Was Forever” better utilized that gooey ghost. Here, the spirit of Halloween itself, Samhain, hopes to make the holiday a permanent thing by stopping time. And who does the embodiment of All Hallows’ Eve use in his nefarious plot? Slimer, of course. Thankfully, the lil’ green bud knows where he really belongs, and Samhain is banished (at least until Season 3’s “Halloween II 1/2“).


Night Game

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“Night Game” (Season 2)

Because Season Two was rather long, in comparison to other seasons, it accumulated quite a few solid episodes. One of the most beloved, though, is that ultimate good-versus-evil story, “Night Game“. Winston gets to shine here as he participates in a battle that was 500 years in the making. Except this time, the fighting is done on the baseball field. The other-dimensional settings in The Real Ghostbusters are always great, but the one here is particularly memorable.


Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin

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“Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin” (Season 2)

Not all ghosts and whatnot were bad in The Real Ghostbusters. As “Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin” showed, some were actually benevolent. Sadly, it took a lot of convincing, and one very heroic act, for Peter and the others to see past this goblin’s grotesque appearance. The heroes find more than one shapeshifter at a sideshow carnival in the Poconos; a sinister Class-4er called the Metamorph does a swell job of menacing the Ghostbusters before they finally realize Drool’s not their culprit. The good guys indeed win here, but that victory is a bittersweet one.


The Collect Call of Cathulhu

“The Collect Call of Cathulhu” (Season 2)

While “The Collect Call of Cathulhu” does misspell “Cthulhu” in the title (probably to avoid legal issues), it is clearly the Old One in this Lovecraft-inspired episode. The story kicks off with the Necronomicon being stolen by the deity’s modern-day cult, who then raise their ancient god at Coney Island. From there, the Ghostbusters’ typical methods don’t work on the big guy, so they seek advice from an old issue of Weird Tales (or “Wierd Tales”, as it’s spelled on screen). That build-up to the finale comes with a decent amount of dread before the Ghostbusters, as well as a scholar named Alice, face off with one of the show’s most powerful entities.


Knock, Knock

“Knock, Knock” (Season 2)

A number of Real Ghostbusters episodes could be reworked into big-screen features, but perhaps “Knock, Knock” is the most hopeful. It helps that this story feels in step with the first two movies. Here, some ignorant construction workers accidentally uncover and open an ancient door in the subway. What’s behind said door is none other than those unspeakable evils that only the Ghostbusters can quell. A good deal of the imagery here is prime for adaptation.


The Grundel

“The Grundel” (Season 3)

One of the darker episodes, which was written by the prominent J. Michael Straczynski, is “The Grundel“. Here, a boy is being influenced by the titular entity, a type of ghost who ultimately turns his targets into new Grundels. The episode does have something of an after-school special quality to it, but that doesn’t take away from the eerier moments. For more Grundel lore, be sure to check out the episode “Grundelesque” from the sequel series, Extreme Ghostbusters.


Standing Room Only

“Standing Room Only” (Season 4)

It’s no secret that The Real Ghostbusters experienced multiple changes after the second season. Out of all of them, though, retooling the show so that Slimer would get more of the spotlight is maybe the most egregious. Thankfully, Season Four (the first to be called Slimer! and the Real Ghostbusters) didn’t completely obey that new directive; episodes like “Standing Room Only” felt more like the old days. The focus here was on the well-being of the city and its people, rather than on the series’ green mascot (or the Junior Ghostbusters). In the episode, Peter’s new ghost attractor isn’t to blame for the ensuing chaos; the ghost-eating Mee-Krah is what’s really imperiling everyone. And the Ghostbusters must dish out everything they have to avoid a doomsday situation.


The Halloween Door

“The Halloween Door” (Season 5)

While many fans will skip the later seasons in their rewatches, episodes like “The Halloween Door” are still worth checking out. This colorful helping of Halloween pandemonium premiered on primetime, so the animation is better than usual. And save for a random musical moment, it’s an enjoyable event. Here, a group of anti-Halloweeners tries to cancel the holiday, but they only end up making things worse by unleashing a baddie named Boogaloo.


The first five seasons of The Real Ghostbusters are available on Tubi, starting on July 15.

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