Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.”

One year after the release of Amityville Scarecrow, we get the sequel Amityville Scarecrow 2 (2022). Unlike other sequels in the “franchise,” however, this second entry boasts an entirely new creative team. Stepping in as director is Adam Cowie, while Craig McLearie takes over writing duties.

Amityville Scarecrow 2 picks up two years after the events of the first film. Adult sisters Tina (Amanda-Jade Tyler) and Mary (Kate Sandison) are no longer estranged, and they’re still aiming to re-open the cursed family campground, though they’re rapidly running out of money.

Mary’s daughter Harriet (Sofia Lacey) is also still around, though she confides in boyfriend Dylan (Dan Robins) that she’s ready to move on. She just can’t find the words to tell her mother.

In addition to the family drama, there’s a new crop of characters working to get the campground ready for its grand opening in two weeks. In addition to Mya (Giedre Jackyte) and Robert (Stephen Saley), the two Red Shirts who die in the extended ten minute opening, there’s stringy-banged Lily (Heaven-Leigh Spence), bitchy Margot (Elspeth Foster), and utterly forgettable Cindy (Hannah Adams), as well as horny couple Simon (Genna Loskutnikov) and Beth (Chrissie Wunna).

Naturally most of these characters bite it when the killer scarecrow returns for a new round of violence. The real question is how can the killer be supernatural pedophile Lester when he was set ablaze in the finale of the first film?

Of the newbies, only Margot and Lily make any impression, though it’s extremely easy to confuse them. Just like its predecessor, Amityville Scarecrow 2 has a problem with casting interchangeable white women with dark hair and then doing nothing to distinguish them as characters.

Ironically, despite the change in writer, Amityville Scarecrow 2 suffers many of the same script problems. There’s an emphasis on inane character beats that don’t really matter, a tendency to have characters repeat dialogue, and there’s barely enough plot to justify the 80 minute runtime. For example: Mya and Robert’s deaths are needlessly drawn out, though it doesn’t help that their sequence immediately follows nearly four minutes of opening credits.

The resulting film feels needlessly stretched out (it’s easy to imagine someone screaming “just get it to feature length!”).

The reality is that no one is coming to Amityville Scarecrow 2 looking for three dimensional characters and nuanced plot, though, right? Alas this is where the change in director hurts the sequel the most. Cowie shoots action scenes very differently than Mundy did; the new director opts for close-up shots and busy camera movements, which obscures (and often confuses) what is happening onscreen.

Where Amityville Scarecrow had bland, unexciting action sequences, Amityville Scarecrow 2 has visually incomprehensible set-pieces.

Alas this is a tepid, forgettable Amityville entry. If the first film coasted by on its familial melodrama, the second merely offers more of the same (only now it’s less interesting). Without exciting kills or even vaguely memorable characters, Amityville Scarecrow 2 doesn’t have much to recommend.

The Amityville IP Awards go to…

• Psycho Homage: The truth is that this is a 1.5 star film, but several clunky homages to Hitchcock’s infamous horror film earns it a miniature boost. These include Dylan’s “We all go a little mad sometimes” and the way Cindy’s shower stabbing is filmed.
• Sister/Mother: Harriet’s desire to break away from the family land and embark on her own journey could be compelling, but it’s hurt by the fact that she barely shares any scenes with her mother. In fact, it’s easy to forget that she’s not Tina’s daughter since those two characters spend most of their screen time together.
• Tin-Earned Dialogue: The first film struggled with its dialogue, and the sequel continues that tradition. My favorite is the recurring insistence throughout Amityville Scarecrow 2 that the events of the first film were a long time ago, followed or preceded by another character exclaiming “it’s just 2 years!” is hilarious.
• Roast a Dead Character: There’s an exchange where Tina and Mary bemoan the fact that Tina’s husband (and Mary’s cheating ex) died without updating his life insurance, which is why the farm is hurting financially. It’s such random jab at a dead character from the first film!
• Nudity! Not since Amityville Vibrator have we seen this much overt nudity, though it would be nice if Cindy was given something (anything!) more to do than a) have sex with Simon or b) lather her breasts in the shower. It’s quite lecherous.
• Glamping! It’s hard not to guffaw at Harriet’s pep talk to her fellow counsellors that they want “Amityville Farm Glamping” to become (this is a direct quote) “a high end glamping spot that will attract attention from all over the world.” Not only are we hanging fairy lights from derelict cars for ambience, but the caravans look the exact same as they did in the first film (which is to say: abandoned and decrepit). Either Harriet is delusional, or this is an absolutely baffling incongruity between the script and the set design.
• Finale: The killer reveal, while not entirely surprising, is a welcome change of pace. Rather than lean into the supernatural evil angle of the first film, it’s revealed that Dylan is the secret grandson of Lester. This would have played better if Dylan were more of a character throughout the film, however; instead it’s something of a shoulder shrug.

Next Time: it only took thirty five entries, but writer/director Michael Stone finally realized that the “franchise” is worth parodying, which is how we get Amityville Gas Chamber (2022).