Written by Jason Nawara, @JasonNawara

Capcom Vancouver has released the third entry in the Lost Chapters, the inexplicably mediocre-at-best series of DLC for Dead Rising 3. This one is called Chaos Rising, and I won’t bury the lead: it sucks. If you’ve read our reviews of Operation Broken Eagle and Fallen Angel you’ll know that we’ve found the contents of this season pass to be more than a little disappointing. Unfortunately, with this latest offering, it’s only gotten worse.

The first chapter featured a horrible main character with uninspired missions. The second chapter had a better character and plot, but the missions were uninspired. With the third chapter, we’re re-introduced to Hunter Thibodeux, one of the least appealing characters I’ve ever seen in a game. Oh, and the missions are still cookie cutter as all hell. It really doesn’t help that Hunter Thibodeux sounds like Mr. Show’s Ronnie Dobbs. Once I got that thought in my head, it never left.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the thought that Thibodeux was going to whack a zombie upside the head and then rifle through its pockets in a desperate search for mentholatums.

I feel like I can be open with you guys by now. This is, after all, the fourth Dead Rising 3-related review I’ve posted, so I believe we’ve established a good back and fourth going here.

This is the worst score I’ve ever given anything in my near six-year writing career. The running time of this expansion can be as short as an hour, which is consistent with the previous chapters, but this one is significantly less fun than the other entries. Granted, the custom motorcycle you get is pretty cool, but I only used it when dictated by the game as I’d rather be using a bulkier vehicle if/when I have the choice.

What it comes down to is the fact that Capcom is asking for about $10 an hour for this. Even if you bought the season pass, at say $7.50 an hour, it’s still too expensive. When the option of going to a movie is cheaper than the game you’re selling, there’s a problem.

With the absence of multiplayer from these episodes, the replay factor is non-existent, and if you’ve already reached level 50 you gain no XP. Unless you’re a total completionist, you’ll be playing these Lost Chapters entirely out of a love for Dead Rising — or perhaps you’re falling out of love with this awful fan service, so you’re looking for another great experience in Los Perdidos. This DLC fails to provide that.

If you’re a gamer who enjoys the Dead Rising series because of it’s wonky plot, costumes, and fun, open-world gameplay, you simply don’t want the extra content. Like the previous chapters, half of the world is locked, you’re basically kept on rails and the missions you’re given are so poorly developed one of them boiled down to “explore.” Outside of that thrilling mission, you’re essentially playing Fetch Quest Simulator 2009.

I loved Dead Rising 3. I stand by the fact that it was the best launch title across both next-gen platforms, but this has to rank up there as some of the worst DLC ever.

We’re talking Oblivion Horse Armor here, people. The sheer lack of extra content here is borderline disturbing and it sets a benchmark for overpriced and uninspired DLC content for the industry. There are barely any cut-scenes and the voice-overs you do hear are of the in-game variety.

The audio is forgettable. It’s there and it’s fine, but no discernible new things are in the game on that front. The massive patch that set the foundation for these chapters smoothed out the frame-rate. I appreciate that.

How could the powers that be think that this was okay to release? I’m just thinking forward to an inevitable sale when all of this goes 50% off and even at $15 bucks it might only marginally be worth it. Maybe I’m just taking out my negative feelings on Chaos Rising because I expected the DLC to have an upward trend instead of a downward one, but come on — an hour long? That, and the fact that these releases have come so close to each other, I feel like a boxer against the ropes, getting peppered with crappy DLC at an alarming rate. I may go down for the count when the fourth Lost Chapter is released.

These ‘Lost Chapters’ were lost for a reason.

The Final Word: The only thing saving Chaos Rising from receiving Bloody Disgusting’s first-ever zero in a game review is the fact that Dead Rising 3 is still incredibly fun and it gives me a reason to go back to enjoy the side stories as Nick Ramos runs around somewhere in my periphery.