Movies
[BD Review] ‘Mortuary’ is Cheesy Fun
Reviewed by Mike Ferraro
Before Terminators, Aliens, and Predators were killing Bill Paxton, he spent his time working as a nerdy embalmer in the quaint little 80s slasher flick, Mortuary. Released in 1983, the film covers pretty much every trope of the genre, and even contains a slew of character stereotypes – from the fat kid, to the nerdy kid, to the jokester with the annoying laugh. The film ends up being a very passable, yet dated and slow-moving slasher effort, that rarely offers any fresh ideals of its own. It’s worth seeking out, if only for the silly amount of fun to be had.
The film opens with a man being bashed with a baseball bat and then thrown into a pool. Everyone seems to think it was a simple drowning accident, except the man’s daughter, Christie (Mary Beth McDonough), who dreams of the incident every night. Her boyfriend Greg (David Wallace), however, starts believing her story after seeing her mother perform a séance along with fellow townsfolk (including the owner of a mortuary). Soon after, a man dressed in a black hood wanders about killing people with an embalming trocar.
So we learn quickly that Heaven’s Gate Mortuary is home to witchcraft, séances, and murder, only for as much time as this film takes in showing us these weird practices, it never actually takes a moment to explain just watch these so-called “witches” are after. Even at the film’s conclusion, we learn that the witching element has nothing to do with the actual murders. What then is the point of all of this?
Despite those flaws (and its slow moving pace), Mortuary is actually a pretty decent horror film to watch with several brews in hand (as long as you don’t take it seriously). This seems like the type of film Ti West studied prior to making House of the Dead.
Mortuary is one of the hundreds of films to follow Halloween and Friday the 13th in the late 70s/early 80s to capitalize with the genre. And, like many of the copycats of this era, it’s far from original but that doesn’t take away from its entertainment value. Seeing Paxton’s performance this early in his career is worth the price of admission alone.
The DVD contains nothing too special (aside from some trailers for other films put out by Scorpion Releasing). It would have been awesome to hear a commentary track by Paxton alone, just to hear his thoughts on the film and how it helped his career.
Movies
‘Goblin’ – Will Forte Joins A24’s Raunchy Little Monster Movie
Described as “Ted meets ET,” David Mikalson’s raunchy comedy Goblin is being brought to life over at A24, and Will Forte (“The Four Seasons”) is now in talks to star.
Deadline first reported the news this afternoon.
Kenneth Branagh has been cast to voice the titular Goblin in the upcoming A24 movie, with the character said to be “green-colored” as well as “anatomically correct.”
Skyler Gisondo (Superman) is reportedly playing the Goblin’s human best friend.
The mysterious project sounds a bit like films including A Gnome Named Gnorm and more recently, Frankie Freako, though it’s important to note that it’s not billed as a horror movie.
Deadline details, “After [Mikalson] hatched the idea to make an outrageous buddy comedy about a goblin, using a practical puppet and operating outside the Hollywood system, his script quickly got him a rep team. While others might have eyed the raunchy comedy as a writing sample or planned to wait to see the micro-budget version Mikalson has been directing in Kentucky, A24 jumped all over it. The hot indie essentially has agreed to finance a full feature.”
“There was a lot of interest, but A24 came with what Mikalson really wanted, after spending all his money crafting the puppet title character: they acquired the movie and agreed to let him make it with a significantly increased budget than what he had left after creating the anatomically correct title character,” Deadline’s report goes on to explain.
What does the titular Goblin actually look like? Well, a cake that Mikalson had whipped up for his reps might give us our first look at what to expect. Deadline explains the photo you’ll see down below, “Take a look at the cake he commissioned with Marc Gravelle at Cake Art in West Hollywood, to present to his reps as thanks for making his dream come true.”


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