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Bad Idea, Right? The Scariest and Most Toxic Friends in Horror

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We’ve all got that friend. The one who convinces us to push our boundaries or take that crazy risk, even though we have a hunch we’ll probably get hurt. They’re exciting, they’re cool, maybe even supportive, but they tend to lead us down the road to trouble, only to duck out when the consequences roll around. Film has a long history of these toxic troublemakers. Looking back, the Horror/Thriller genre was practically built on the backs of these smiling devils, who lure us in with their fun-loving wiles, then lead us off the side of a cliff.

Director William Oldroyd plays with this treacherous archetype in his adaptation of Ottessa Moshfegh’s 2015 novel Eileen. At first, Rebecca (Anne Hathaway) seems like a breath of fresh air to Eileen (Thomasin McKenzie). She’s the glamorous new educational director at a boys reformatory, who encourages Eileen to stand up to her alcoholic father. But when one holiday celebration pushes their relationship to the edge, Eileen finds herself spiraling towards disaster. The friendship that once led her to empowerment might ruin her life.

Rest assured, Hathaway’s Rebecca isn’t the only toxic friend on screen; she joins a terrifying rogues gallery of vicious BFFs. As we’re wont to do, Bloody Disgusting has rounded up the faces that’ll make you second guess the next friend you bring into your life.


Chris Hargenson – Carrie (1976)

One of horror’s original mean girls, Chris Hargenson (Nancy Allen) rules the hallways of Bates High School with an iron fist. Rich and beautiful, she thrives on cruelty and spends her days torturing lonely outcast Carrie White (Sissy Spacek).

When this shy teen unexpectedly gets her first period in the girl’s locker room, Chris participates in an especially heartless prank, and then becomes enraged when she’s asked to atone for her actions. She convinces her sheep-like friends and dimwitted boyfriend to orchestrate an elaborate prank designed to humiliate Carrie at the senior prom.

Unfortunately, Carrie chooses this mortifying moment to unleash her telekinetic powers and uses the sprinkler system and electrical equipment to set the gym ablaze. Chris slips out the door just in time to watch as Carrie roasts the senior class alive. Not only do Chris’ friends pay the ultimate price for following her lead, but this cruel prank eventually winds up destroying the entire town.


David and Eden – The Invitation (2015)

2016 Independent Horror Films

The only thing worse than going to a dinner party and having to sit through a surprise sales pitch is realizing the offer your friends are extending leads to enrollment in a suicide cult. Will (Logan Marshall-Green) accepts an invitation from his ex-wife Eden (Tammy Blanchard) in hopes of reuniting with old friends and finding a way to move past the devastating death of their young son.

Unfortunately, Eden and her new boyfriend David (Michiel Huisman), have become involved with a dangerous group obsessed with the spirituality of death. They deliver an awkward and upsetting presentation that features an assisted suicide, then invite their dangerous new friends to give their own uncomfortable testimony.

The trouble continues as David and Eden serve poisoned wine to their guests, hoping to take the whole group with them on a murder-suicide mission. The evening devolves into carnage and mayhem as Will and his friends try to survive the dinner party from hell.


David – The Lost Boys (1987)

Horror Queers Lost Boys

Few people on earth can make the party lifestyle look as effortlessly cool as Kiefer Sutherland. Joel Schumacher’s cult classic follows Sutherland’s David — and his group of disaffected teen vampires, mind you — as they wander the beaches and piers of Santa Carla, California. Together, they stir up trouble, all while feeding on unsuspecting locals. New in town, Michael (Jason Patric) finds himself drawn to David, channeling his own adolescent angst into the vampire’s devil-may-care lifestyle.

Perhaps sensing a kindred spirit, David courts Michael with powerful visions and membership in his crew of “bloodsuckers.” Meanwhile, Michael’s little brother Sam (Corey Haim) falls in with a pre-teen duo of would-be vampire hunters determined to take David down. Caught up in the town’s complicated ecosystem, the brothers must find and kill the head vampire before Michael becomes a permanent member of David’s undead gang.  So, win-some, lose-some in this scenario.


Hedy – Single White Female (1992)

Finding an apartment in this hellish housing market can be murder. Software designer Allie Jones (Bridget Fonda) is still reeling from a painful breakup when she realizes she must find a roommate to supplement her ex’s half of the rent or she’ll lose her coveted apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

After placing a personal ad and conducting a series of disastrous interviews, Allie meets Hedy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a shy, young woman with a tragic past. At first, the new roommates seem like a match made in heaven, but Hedy’s devotion to Allie takes a dark turn. Not only does she intercept contrite messages from Allie’s ex, she fills her closet with a duplicate wardrobe.

When Hedy gets a carbon copy of Allie’s signature haircut, the frightened woman decides to rid herself of this clingy new friend. Unfortunately, this proves easier said than done, and Hedy will not exit Allie’s life without a fight. Struggling to reclaim her identity, Allie must evict this sociopathic “friend” before Hedy takes over her life for good.


Ben – The Innocents (2021)

‘The Innocents’ Review – A Provocative and Disturbing Moral Fable of Superpowered Innocence - Hold till 5/9

Most of the toxic friends on this list may be adults, but Eskil Vogt’s chilling Norwegian film proves that children can be just as dangerous and sometimes even more frightening. Anna (Alva Brynsmo Ramstad) and Ida (Rakel Lenora Petersen Fløttum) are young sisters spending the summer wandering around the grounds of their large apartment complex. Along with neighborhood kids Ben (Sam Ashraf) and Aisha (Mina Yasmin Bremseth Asheim), Anna develops telekinetic powers that appear to strengthen when the foursome is together.

Initially, the kids have fun exploring the limits of these newfound gifts, but the troubled Ben begins to use his psychic abilities to harm others. He delights in torturing animals and begins to overpower the rest of the group. When Ben’s playful games take a deadly turn, the sisters must band together to defend themselves against his invisible strength. The playground turns into a warzone as Ben decides that the only way to maintain his dominance is to take out his former friends once and for all.


Juno – The Descent (2005)

Juno (Natalie Mendoza) is definitely that girl. She’s not only incredibly beautiful and athletic, she’s a natural leader who excels at anything she tries to do. She also happens to be sleeping with the husband of her best friend Sarah (Shauna Macdonald). One year after a devastating accident, Juno leads Sarah and their adventurous friends on a challenging spelunking trip in the Appalachian Mountains. Unbeknownst to the group, she’s actually taken them to an undiscovered cave in hopes that they will explore the new system and name it for themselves.

Her plan goes awry, however, when the women stumble upon a clan of humanoid monsters who’ve lived for centuries in the pitch-black darkness, feasting on the flesh of previous explorers. If that weren’t enough, unresolved trauma rears its ugly head and the women find themselves warring with each other, in addition to the killer cave-dwellers. It would appear that Juno has finally pushed her luck too far, and her bright idea may end up costing her friends their lives.


Eileen is currently playing in select theaters. Get your tickets now.

Editorials

Silly, Self-Aware ‘Amityville Christmas Vacation’ Is a Welcome Change of Pace [The Amityville IP]

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Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.” 

After a number of bloated runtimes and technically inept entries, it’s something of a relief to watch Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022). The 55-minute film doesn’t even try to hit feature length, which is a wise decision for a film with a slight, but enjoyable premise.

The amusingly self-aware comedy is written and directed by Steve Rudzinski, who also stars as protagonist Wally Griswold. The premise is simple: a newspaper article celebrating the hero cop catches the attention of B’n’B owner Samantha (Marci Leigh), who lures Wally to Amityville under the false claim that he’s won a free Christmas stay.

Naturally it turns out that the house is haunted by a vengeful ghost named Jessica D’Angelo (Aleen Isley), but instead of murdering him like the other guests, Jessica winds up falling in love with him.

Several other recent Amityville films, including Amityville Cop and Amityville in Space, have leaned into comedy, albeit to varying degrees of success. Amityville Christmas Vacation is arguably the most successful because, despite its hit/miss joke ratio, at least the film acknowledges its inherent silliness and never takes itself seriously.

In this capacity, the film is more comedy than horror (the closest comparison is probably Amityville Vibrator, which blended hard-core erotica with references to other titles in the “series”). The jokes here are enjoyably varied: Wally glibly acknowledges his racism and excessive use of force in a way that reflects the real world culture shift around criticisms of police work; the last names of the lovers, as well the title of the film, are obvious homages to the National Lampoon’s holiday film; and the narrative embodies the usual festive tropes of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies.

This self-awareness buys the film a certain amount of goodwill, which is vital considering Rudzinski’s clear budgetary limitations. Jessica’s ghost make-up is pretty basic, the action is practically non-existent, and the whole film essentially takes place in a single location. These elements are forgivable, though audiences whose funny bone isn’t tickled will find the basic narrative, low stakes, and amateur acting too glaring to overlook. It must be acknowledged that in spite of its brief runtime, there’s still an undeniable feeling of padding in certain dialogue exchanges and sequences.

Despite this, there’s plenty to like about Amityville Christmas Vacation.

Rudzinski is the clear stand-out here. Wally is a goof: he’s incredibly slow on the uptake and obsessed with his cat Whiskers. The early portions of the film lean on Wally’s inherent likeability and Rudzinski shares an easy charm with co-star Isley, although her performance is a bit more one-note (Jessica is mostly confused by the idiot who has wandered into her midst).

Falling somewhere in the middle are Ben Dietels as Rick (Ben Dietels), Wally’s pathetic co-worker who has invented a family to spend the holidays with, and Zelda (Autumn Ivy), the supernatural case worker that Jessica Zooms with for advice on how to negotiate her newfound situation.

The other actors are less successful, particularly Garrett Hunter as ghost hunter Creighton Spool (Scott Lewis), as well as Samantha, the home owner. Leigh, in particular, barely makes an impression and there’s absolutely no bite in her jealous threats in the last act.

Like most comedies, audience mileage will vary depending on their tolerance for low-brow jokes. If the idea of Wally chastising and giving himself a pep talk out loud in front of Jessica isn’t funny, Amityville Christmas Vacation likely isn’t for you. As it stands, the film’s success rate is approximately 50/50: for every amusing joke, there’s another one that misses the mark.

Despite this – or perhaps because of the film’s proximity to the recent glut of terrible entries – Amityville Christmas Vacation is a welcome breath of fresh air. It’s not a great film, but it is often amusing and silly. There’s something to be said for keeping things simple and executing them reasonably well.

That’s a lesson that other indie Amityville filmmakers could stand to learn.

2.5 out of 5 skulls

The Amityville IP Awards go to…

  • Recurring Gag: The film mines plenty of jokes from characters saying the quiet part (out) loud, including Samantha’s delivery of “They’re always the people I hate” when Wally asks how he won a contest he didn’t enter.
  • Holiday Horror: There’s a brief reference that Jessica died in an “icicle accident,” which plays like a perfect blend between a horror film and a Hallmark film.
  • Best Line: After Jessica jokes about Wally’s love of all things cats to Zelda, calling him the “cat’s meow,” the case worker’s deadpan delivery of “Yeah, that sounds like an inside joke” is delightful.
  • Christmas Wish: In case you were wondering, yes, Santa Claus (Joshua Antoon) does show up for the film’s final joke, though it’s arguably not great.
  • Chainsaw Award: This film won Fangoria’s ‘Best Amityville’ Chainsaw award in 2023, which makes sense given how unique it is compared to many other titles released in 2022. This also means that the film is probably the best entry we’ll discuss for some time, so…yay?
  • ICYMI: This editorial series was recently included in a profile in the The New York Times, another sign that the Amityville “franchise” will never truly die.

Next time: we’re hitting the holidays in the wrong order with a look at November 2022’s Amityville Thanksgiving, which hails from the same creative team as Amityville Karen <gulp>

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