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[BEST & WORST ’13] Lonmonster’s Top 10 Horror Films of 2013!

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In retrospect 2013 was spectacular for horror, proving that the genre continues to progress in both the independent and studio worlds. We were treated to some instant classics that delivered conventional horror, while others explored new territory and challenged the concept of what it means to be a “horror” movie. I keep hearing people say, “film is dead,” and I cannot disagree more. Genre cinema has always thrived off of passionate filmmakers, and every film on my list bleed with passion and love from its creators.

Narrowing down a best-of-the-year list is a trite exercise, as is ordering them in some sort of countdown, but the ten films listed below left a mark on me in 2013. Each film stuck with me for one reason or another throughout the year, and I imagine they will stay with me for a long time to come.

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Indie) | Evan Dickson (Best) | The Wolfman (Festival Favorites) | Patrick Cooper (Best)
Lonmonster (Best/Worst) | Lauren Taylor (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best Novels)
Best Posters | Best Performances | Best Trailers

LONMONSTER’S TOP 10 OF 2013
10. Warm Bodies (February 1; Summit)


I’m a sucker for anything related to Shakespeare. I have no idea how he did it, but Jonathan Levine (with the help of Isaac Marion’s novel) managed to mix zombies with Romeo and Juliet in a thoughtful and emotional horror comedy. While not everyone will bite the hook of the film, a love story between a human and a zombie, it’s oddly touching if you can suspend your disbelief. The film has Jonathan Levine written all over it, mixing serious social commentary with moments of delightful romance that you just don’t get these days unless you’re willing to spend your time on cookie-cutter romantic comedies or their more pretentious alternatives.

9. Gravity (October 4; Warner Bros.)


The only reason Gravity doesn’t find itself at number one on my list is because it’s not strictly a horror film. That said, Alfonso Cuarónand his incredible DoP Emmanuel Lubezki pack this movie with so much on-the-edge-of-your-seat dread that if offers more real fear than the majority of horror movies. It captures the absolute terror of that black abyss that is outer space by forcing us on a survival journey alongside Ryan Stone (Sanda Bullock). I sincerely believe that Gravity is the cinematic event of my lifetime.

8. Evil Dead (April 5; TriStar)


Fede Alvarez makes his directorial debut with a remake of one of the most beloved horror franchises of all time with some of the most feverous fans out there. Suffice it to say, he had some big shoes to fill. Alvarez delivers a remake that that pays homage to the original, while boldly taking the series in a new direction. Horror fans often disparage remakes for either sticking too close to the source material, or for straying too far and I believe Alvarez found a perfect balance between the two.

7. Simon Killer (April 5; IFC Films)


Simon Killer is not a conventional horror movie, however, it maintains an incomprehensible sense of dread throughout that keeps you guessing at every turn. The film forces you to identify with a psychopath until you question everything you’ve seen, including your empathy for him. It’s no secret that the most effective way to scare an audience is to enable the use of imagination rather than showing everything exactly as it occurs, and Simon Killer executes this method to a tee. It’s an audaciously uncomfortable film, the likes of which Lars Von Trier would be proud.

6. Byzantium (June 28; IFC Films)


With its modern Gothic aesthetic and bildungsroman-style narrative, Byzantium is one of the most memorable vampire films in recent years. Considering Moira Buffini penned the script, it doesn’t come as a surprise that the story favors drama and romance over horror. However, unlike some recent vampire stories that focus too much on love, Buffini harkens back to the essence of vampire lore, never letting us forget that these are tragic creatures. What is perhaps most impressive about Byzantium is how the style matches the content. Sean Bobbitt’s cinematography captures the heartrending yet alluring spirit of the blood-sucking lifestyle.

5. You’re Next (August 23; Lionsgate)


You’re Next proves that the best way to make a good genre movie is simply to make a good movie. Home invasion films are tired, yet Simon Barrett and Adam Wingard breathe new life into the subgenre. You’re Next comes packed with all the tropes you expect, but also includes real characters with authentic motives. The final girl is a mainstay of horror and it’s a hard archetype to fool around with. However, Erin (Sharni Vinson) is one of the most memorable final girls since the 80s with her clear backstory that offers an explanation for her uncanny ability to kick ass. It’s also darkly funny, which I don’t think most viewers appreciate enough. With such a low budget, You’re Next is a testament to the skill of those involved, and I can’t wait for the next Wingard/Barrett film.

4. Stoker (March 1; Fox Searchlight)


Park Chan-Wook’s Stoker is stunning, disturbing, and intensely sensual. The film’s structure and story owes much to Alfred Hitchcock, but where Chan-wook strays is his highly unusual mood. Stoker has an intimate atmosphere that oozes with sexual anxiety that is almost too much to bear.

The cinematography is masterful. I never stop a film and rewind on first viewing, but there were several shots throughout Stoker that I just had to rewind in order to experience their beauty a second time. Stoker is a visual masterpiece and an impressive first feature screenplay from Wentworth Miller.

3. Maniac (June 21; IFC Midnight)


Maniac functions not just as a visceral experience, but also as a brilliant commentary on the voyeuristic nature of slasher movies. Director Franck Khalfoun along with Alexander Aja take the 1980 original, which was banned by the BBFC, and turn it into something fresh that reflects on the video nasties from that era. It’s strange to others that horror fans like to watch people die on-screen, and Maniac puts it in perspective. It literally places you into the shoes of a killer who is both revolting and mysteriously sympathetic. Maniac is a remake that transcends the original film, which alone is a feat few are able to accomplish. And, my god, the score is brilliant.

2. A Field In England (July 5; DraftHouse)


A complete exploitation of our senses, A Field In England is unsettling and salient as Ben Wheatley refuses to confine to traditional cinema. While his previous films split audiences, this one will divide even the most hardcore cinephiles. Wheatley lets the film be what it wants to be without feeling the need to force it into a specific genre, and because of its oft abstractness, the film maintains a pervasive chilling mood. Taking into consideration his work over the past few years, Ben Wheatley is one of the most talented and original filmmakers working today.

1. The Conjuring (July 19; New Line Cinema)


Ghost stories are hard to tell. There is such a lengthy history of the subgenre that it’s tough to find fodder for new supernatural material without having a film ripe with bankrupt imagery. Enter James Wan’s horror valediction, The Conjuring. He employs the true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren whose investigations have acted as the basis for many horror flicks over the years. Wan pays homage to paranormal horror of the 70s and 80s by focusing on the story of a family plagued by a haunting in their new abode, and it is the fact that he creates such an empathic cast of characters that makes the film so horrifying. The scares are utterly relentless throughout, never letting go of the audience. If this is to be Wan’s true farewell to the genre, he’s said goodbye with a masterpiece.

Editorials

‘Leprechaun Returns’ – The Charm of the Franchise’s Legacy Sequel

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leprechaun returns

The erratic Leprechaun franchise is not known for sticking with a single concept for too long. The namesake (originally played by Warwick Davis) has gone to L.A., Las Vegas, space, and the ‘hood (not once but twice). And after an eleven-year holiday since the Davis era ended, the character received a drastic makeover in a now-unmentionable reboot. The critical failure of said film would have implied it was time to pack away the green top hat and shillelagh, and say goodbye to the nefarious imp. Instead, the Leprechaun series tried its luck again.

The general consensus for the Leprechaun films was never positive, and the darker yet blander Leprechaun: Origins certainly did not sway opinions. Just because the 2014 installment took itself seriously did not mean viewers would. After all, creator Mark Jones conceived a gruesome horror-comedy back in the early nineties, and that format is what was expected of any future ventures. So as horror legacy sequels (“legacyquels”) became more common in the 2010s, Leprechaun Returns followed suit while also going back to what made the ‘93 film work. This eighth entry echoed Halloween (2018) by ignoring all the previous sequels as well as being a direct continuation of the original. Even ardent fans can surely understand the decision to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.

Leprechaun Returns “continued the [franchise’s] trend of not being consistent by deciding to be consistent.” The retconning of Steven Kostanski and Suzanne Keilly’s film was met with little to no pushback from the fandom, who had already become accustomed to seeing something new and different with every chapter. Only now the “new and different” was familiar. With the severe route of Origins a mere speck in the rearview mirror, director Kotanski implemented a “back to basics” approach that garnered better reception than Zach Lipovsky’s own undertaking. The one-two punch of preposterous humor and grisly horror was in full force again.

LEPRECHAUN

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

With Warwick Davis sitting this film out — his own choice — there was the foremost challenge of finding his replacement. Returns found Davis’ successor in Linden Porco, who admirably filled those blood-stained, buckled shoes. And what would a legacy sequel be without a returning character? Jennifer Aniston obviously did not reprise her final girl role of Tory Redding. So, the film did the next best thing and fetched another of Lubdan’s past victims: Ozzie, the likable oaf played by Mark Holton. Returns also created an extension of Tory’s character by giving her a teenage daughter, Lila (Taylor Spreitler).

It has been twenty-five years since the events of the ‘93 film. The incident is unknown to all but its survivors. Interested in her late mother’s history there in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota, Lila transferred to the local university and pledged a sorority — really the only one on campus — whose few members now reside in Tory Redding’s old home. The farmhouse-turned-sorority-house is still a work in progress; Lila’s fellow Alpha Epsilon sisters were in the midst of renovating the place when a ghost of the past found its way into the present.

The Psycho Goreman and The Void director’s penchant for visceral special effects is noted early on as the Leprechaun tears not only into the modern age, but also through poor Ozzie’s abdomen. The portal from 1993 to 2018 is soaked with blood and guts as the Leprechaun forces his way into the story. Davis’ iconic depiction of the wee antagonist is missed, however, Linden Porco is not simply keeping the seat warm in case his predecessor ever resumes the part. His enthusiastic performance is accentuated by a rotten-looking mug that adds to his innate menace.

LEPRECHAUN RETURNS sequel

Pictured: Taylor Spreitler, Pepi Sonuga, and Sai Bennett as Lila, Katie and Rose in Leprechaun Returns.

The obligatory fodder is mostly young this time around. Apart from one luckless postman and Ozzie — the premature passing of the latter character removed the chance of caring about anyone in the film — the Leprechaun’s potential prey are all college aged. Lila is this story’s token trauma kid with caregiver baggage; her mother thought “monsters were always trying to get her.” Lila’s habit of mentioning Tory’s mental health problem does not make a good first impression with the resident mean girl and apparent alcoholic of the sorority, Meredith (Emily Reid). Then there are the nicer but no less cursorily written of the Alpha Epsilon gals: eco-conscious and ex-obsessive Katie (Pepi Sonuga), and uptight overachiever Rose (Sai Bennett). Rounding out the main cast are a pair of destined-to-die bros (Oliver Llewellyn Jenkins, Ben McGregor). Lila and her peers range from disposable to plain irritating, so rooting for any one of them is next to impossible. Even so, their overstated personalities make their inevitable fates more satisfying.

Where Returns excels is its death sequences. Unlike Jones’ film, this one is not afraid of killing off members of the main cast. Lila, admittedly, wears too much plot armor, yet with her mother’s spirit looming over her and the whole story — comedian Heather McDonald put her bang-on Aniston impersonation to good use as well as provided a surprisingly emotional moment in the film — her immunity can be overlooked. Still, the other characters’ brutal demises make up for Lila’s imperviousness. The Leprechaun’s killer set-pieces also happen to demonstrate the time period, seeing as he uses solar panels and a drone in several supporting characters’ executions. A premortem selfie and the antagonist’s snarky mention of global warming additionally add to this film’s particular timestamp.

Critics were quick to say Leprechaun Returns did not break new ground. Sure, there is no one jetting off to space, or the wacky notion of Lubdan becoming a record producer. This reset, however, is still quite charming and entertaining despite its lack of risk-taking. And with yet another reboot in the works, who knows where the most wicked Leprechaun ever to exist will end up next.


Horror contemplates in great detail how young people handle inordinate situations and all of life’s unexpected challenges. While the genre forces characters of every age to face their fears, it is especially interested in how youths might fare in life-or-death scenarios.

The column Young Blood is dedicated to horror stories for and about teenagers, as well as other young folks on the brink of terror.

Leprechaun Returns movie

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

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