The Best Christmas Story Never Told
Season: 2
Air Date: December 17, 2006
Best Quote: Carolers: “Oh we’re not here to sing. We’re here to warn people about the Holiday Rapist.”
Stan: “You mean the Christmas Rapist. The guy who strikes every year on Christmas”
Carolers: “Yeah, they’ve asked us to call him the Holiday Rapist.”
Stan: “No! He’s the Christmas Rapist. He rapes on Christmas. Is nothing sacred anymore?”
Surprisingly, I had never seen this episode before. I didn’t get into American Dad! until the 3rd or 4th season and never went back to re-watch most of the early episodes. What a mistake that was because I loved this episode! Basically, Stan is upset because Christmas is losing its meaning since everyone now says things like “Happy Holidays” as opposed to “Merry Christmas.” Then Lisa Kudrow’s Ghost of Christmas Past shows up to take Stan back in time to his childhood and he runs off to murder Jane Fonda before she can get involved in politics and ruin Christmas forever. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds and I loved every second of it. Sadly, not any horror moments in this episode (unless you count the Russians taking over in an altered universe where Martin Scorsese never got into cocaine and thus never made Taxi Driver which then never made Jodie Foster famous so John Hinckley, Jr. never shot at Reagan which means he was never elected for a second term horror). Regardless, it’s a fun episode.