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A Wish List for ‘Alan Wake 2’

Less Birds, More Bears

AW2WL_3

I’m going to continue to speak for all of us when I say Alan Wake had far too many birds and not nearly enough bears. Bears are already a joke that Nature is playing on us. Why else would a creature that’s comprised entirely of claws, teeth, muscle and an ingrained hatred for anything that walks on two legs exist, if not to poke fun at humanity for foolishly thinking we had escaped the Food Chain.

As that animal from The Lion King might say if he were real and not an animal: there’s no escaping the circle of life.

Other animals I think the Darkness should add to its legion of Taken includes anything that’s already scary, because if it’s scary now, just wait until the Darkness turns it into a human-hating shadow creature.