I’m really sorry, folks. Yes, Closed Circuit Extreme is another “found footage” horror flick. I know that you guys are getting sick of them. As I’ve said before, it seems that indie filmmakers will take a concept that Hollywood has capitalized upon and run it into the ground. But who knows? Maybe this film will surprise and take the concept in new and exciting directions? Maybe the film will instantly grip you by the grundies and not let go for it’s entire runtime?

You know the answers to those questions, don’t you?

Student Francesca Pardi mysteriously disappeared in 2010 and her body was never found. Her friends Claudia (Francesca Cuttica) and Daniele (Guglielmo Favilla) suspect handyman David De Santis (Stefano Fregni) is connected to Francesca’s disappearance. Unfortunately, the public prosecutor does not take them seriously. So to gain proof, Claudia and Daniele break into De Santis’ home and install five closed circuit cameras to spy on him. The cameras are all connected to one hard drive in the living room camera, so periodically, Claudia and Daniele have to break in to check the amount of data collected and to constantly fixed faulty recording signals. But when Daniele breaks his ankle, Claudia has to return to De Santis’ home herself, unaware that De Santis has suspected the break-ins for a while.

Well, I suppose that the most interesting way that the found footage gimmick is used in the film is it’s presentation. Given that we’re watching footage from a variety of angles/sources/lighting etc. that’s in possession by the police department, we do get artificially zoomed-in shots that are intended to highlight key snippets of dialogue or whatever. There are also slick graphics to highlight certain individuals involved in the case, so that’s pretty neato…

Yes, my feigned enthusiasm is that obvious.

No surprise, this film sucks. How bad is it? Well, what do you want to have happen in the first hour of a 98 minute film? Maybe some character development, some establishing of the plot? How about an hour of watching Fregni’s character doing absolutely nothing of interest? Yep, we get to watch his entire mundane daily routine. Watch De Santis open a beer with his teeth! Watch De Santis parade around in his underwear, scratching his ass! Watch De Santis hire a “masseuse”! You can see what I’m getting at. The first hour is drawn out for way too long, as if director/writer Giorgio Amato had nothing better with which to fill out his story. Oh, we do get to see Claudia and Daniele break in and adjust the equipment, but rather than gather and review the filmed footage, they just leave it there. Because that makes sense. Only after an hour does the film start progressing, but by then it’s almost over. Amazing.

It doesn’t stop there. The brilliant choice of having Italian actors deliver their lines in English is frustrating, given that there’s no ADR (surprise!), and we’re forced to try and discern what is being said. Don’t worry, the swearing is in English, and it gets tired real fast when that’s all they seem to do. Because that’s how English-speaking people in films talk, apparently. Regardless of whether they talk in English or Italian, none of the actors are particularly enduring. In fact, you end up hoping that our protagonists are caught, just so you wouldn’t have to deal with Claudia being so annoying, and Daniele being such an idiot.

So yeah, the last half hour of the film has De Santis finally begin to show off some serial killer tendencies. Once he does lure an attractive woman and subdue her, we get a rape scene (as well as full frontal Fregni), some disturbing letter dictation, and some cheap offscreen gore. Not only do these scenes feel out of place and are more upsetting thanks to the previous hour of nothing, but you still don’t end up caring all that much. Apparently, neither did Amato, since the film ends as anti-climatic as you can get.

Closed Circuit Extreme is a turd. No question. Instead of innovating things, we get the tired found footage trope run into the ground, lazy storytelling, annoying actors and cheesy effects. This is a far cry from the glory days of Italian horror, and really, the film is a far cry from anything resembling entertainment. Literally, you could watch ants parade along a sidewalk, and you’d find that more stimulating than this. Give Dario a ring if you’re looking for good Italian horror. Avoid this film like the plague.

Video/Audio:

Presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, the quality is all over the place. Whether or not this was intentional to simulate the various sources of footage, it makes the film’s grittiness seem more forced and amateur than anything else. Details and colour quality vary with each source. The darker interior scenes suffer the worst, giving way to large amounts of noise, blur and lack of detail. Outdoor scenes fare better, but overall, the look of the film just adds to the aggravation of the overall experience.

Want to make the thick Italian accents more annoying? Scrap doing an ADR, and give us a Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo track with no subtitles. The audio is what you’d expect, given what the visuals are like: dialogue volume is dependent on the location of the hidden microphones, meaning it’s just as uneven as the video quality. What’s more annoying are the intentional static bursts that pop up when a cut to another feed is made. Really artificial, really cheap.

Extras:

Other than the film’s trailer, there’s a collection of outtakes that have been included at the very end of the main feature. Yeah, I don’t know why they did it like this, either.