[BEST & WORST '12] Lonmonster’s List Of The Worst Films Of 2012

Best-And-Worst-2012

I’ve been following Bloody-Disgusting since way before I started writing for them. Being a critic has opened so many doors for me, providing the awesome opportunity to discover a world of horror that I didn’t even know existed. Unfortunately, some of that world is not so pretty.

Like any year, 2012 was host to some real stinkers. As a personal rule, I avoid trash-talking other people in the industry. I don’t like spitting venom at people I don’t know, especially young filmmakers who are still learning the tricks of the trade. But hey, I’m an emotional guy, and sometimes movies get the better of me. The films listed below don’t find themselves here simply because they’re bad, but because they genuinely made me angry.

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Worst) | Evan Dickson (Best/Worst) | David Harley (Best/Worst) | Lonmonster (Best/Worst) | Corey Mitchell (Best of Fest) | Supporting Staff (Best & Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best Novels)
Posters (Best/Worst) | Trailers (Best/Worst)

Lonmonster’s List Of The Worst Films Of 2012

5. ATM (March 2; IFC Films)

I don’t really want to put this one on my list because I know some of you are hounds for bad horror and will inevitably watch this after seeing it listed. Nobody should watch this movie.

4. Seven Below (April 7; Arc Entertainment)

Seven Below isn’t a complex film, but it wants to be. It has a capable cast of actors, including Val Kilmer, but no star can help a plot that makes zero sense. There is no explanation for anything that happens. People pull photographs out of nowhere, there’s a ghost, a Mexican, another ghost, a glory hole behind a bed, and something to do with reincarnation. Or, are they hallucinating? Seven Below is like a game of Clue being played by 6-year-olds who don’t give a shit about rules, but just put pieces on the board and make up a story.

3. Hidden In The Woods (Fantasia 2012)

Murder, drugs, rape, rape, and more rape. A deformed cannibalistic brother, prostitution, starvation, more rape. This a shamefully misogynistic film that treats rape as a queue for thrills rather than a serious subject. Hidden in the Woods is offensive to good taste, and it should stay hidden.

2. The Human Race (Fantasia 2012)

“Poopie baby pooped his pants” is an actual line of dialogue from the The Human Race, and it accurately sums up how I felt after the screening. This film is an atrocity. The script is demented, skipping from scene to unrelated scene in an attempt to impress genre fans with its utter disregard for humanity. The Human Race tries to be “inclusive” with its willful prejudice against every type of person imaginable. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s morally reprehensible, racist, and sexist.

1. The Devil Inside (January 6; Paramount Insurge)

The Devil Inside is not a finished movie, but somehow that didn’t stop it from getting a wide release. It’s a half-flushed out story that ends abruptly, asking you to visit the website for more information. I don’t know about you, but when I pay to see a movie, I spend my hard earned money with the hopes of being entertained by a finished product. I was not entertained. I’ve never been angrier after leaving a theater.

 
  • Aaron Emery

    The only two I’ve seen are THE DEVIL INSIDE and ATM. As I have stated I feel DEVIL INSIDE is underrated. But ATM is one of the worst films of the past few years, my god what a terrible experience, topped off by the hashtag #nevergoatm hahahahah

    • Zombie-Killa

      I agree 100% about ATM. Such an awful, awful movie with too many stupid characters, and a preposterous ending.

      • Aaron Emery

        I will say one thing about the ending, I’ve never laughed so hard at a “reveal”/explanation in my life!

        • Zombie-Killa

          LOL! That’s true, and I have to admit, The Devil Inside did bring a “are you serious???” laugh out of me!

          • Zombie-Killa

            Whoops! I meant to say ATM Aaron, sorry, but for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about The Devil Inside today. lol.

  • Doug-Brunell

    I can’t say I’ll stay away from all of those, but I promise to avoid the majority of them.

  • ImPetrified

    The Apparition is the biggest steaming pile of donkey $hit to come to theaters this year. Also ATM was just ridiculous.

  • djblack1313

    Lon, i haven’t seen any of these. i had no desire to. i’ll take your word for it.

    • Lonmonster

      Hahaha. Some people really liked The Human Race, might be worth a watch when released.

  • dr.lamb

    First “Twixt” and now this ? Poor Val Kilmer…
    My first post here, btw ! Hi guys !

  • http://www.facebook.com/melissacarlill.pavlozayka Melllzy

    ATM was the worst. So so so so so stupid.

  • ThunderDragoon

    “I’ve never been angrier after leaving a theater.” I’m guessing you didn’t see The Apparition then! That was the worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theater. I think I’ll keep saying that on everybody’s worst list articles because I hate it so much. XD

  • http://www.facebook.com/msaez3 Manuel Saez

    I was looking forward to “The Devil Inside”, as demonic possession films are the only ones that truly frighten me, I walked out of the theater and asked for my money back. I haven’t done that since watching “I am Legend” several years ago. Both horrible “films” that are not worth the memory they are burned on.

  • diapers

    I have a growing, deep concern… that Val Kilmer will never be cool again. I think the last cool role for him was Salton Sea.

    • mikeknowskarate

      have you seen Wonderland? Pretty good kilmer flick.

  • anezka

    I almost watched The Devil Inside on theaters. Glad I changed my mind!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbatchelder Josh Batchelder

    ATM was so so so bad but nothing this year was worse than Smiley IMO. I hated that movie so much. I had decent expectations for both movies and was totally let down! On the other hand, I enjoyed Devil Inside and didn’t think it was as bad as most are making it out to be. I actually rather liked that ending..

  • ta2s4me2

    I’m sad to see The Human Race on this list, but can’t really disagree that it was a disappointment. It has not been a smooth transition into acting for Eddie McGee.

  • mikeknowskarate

    I had to apologize to my friends after getting them to go see Devil Inside w/ me. Sorry again Tiff, Dave, & Meagan.

  • AndrewSoukup24

    Only seen ATM haha and it wasn’t good but def seen worse movies this year.

  • Justen

    ATM is obviously a bad movie, but it keeps your attention and it’s fun to sit through as a thriller. But it’s highly unrealistic and it’s one of those horror films that tries to over exaggerate a seemingly simple situation just for the sake of entertainment. Do ATM’s like that even exist?