I’ve been following Bloody-Disgusting since way before I started writing for them. Being a critic has opened so many doors for me, providing the awesome opportunity to discover a world of horror that I didn’t even know existed. Unfortunately, some of that world is not so pretty.
Like any year, 2012 was host to some real stinkers. As a personal rule, I avoid trash-talking other people in the industry. I don’t like spitting venom at people I don’t know, especially young filmmakers who are still learning the tricks of the trade. But hey, I’m an emotional guy, and sometimes movies get the better of me. The films listed below don’t find themselves here simply because they’re bad, but because they genuinely made me angry.
Posters (Best/Worst) | Trailers (Best/Worst)
5. ATM (March 2; IFC Films)
I don’t really want to put this one on my list because I know some of you are hounds for bad horror and will inevitably watch this after seeing it listed. Nobody should watch this movie.
4. Seven Below (April 7; Arc Entertainment)
Seven Below isn’t a complex film, but it wants to be. It has a capable cast of actors, including Val Kilmer, but no star can help a plot that makes zero sense. There is no explanation for anything that happens. People pull photographs out of nowhere, there’s a ghost, a Mexican, another ghost, a glory hole behind a bed, and something to do with reincarnation. Or, are they hallucinating? Seven Below is like a game of Clue being played by 6-year-olds who don’t give a shit about rules, but just put pieces on the board and make up a story.
3. Hidden In The Woods (Fantasia 2012)
Murder, drugs, rape, rape, and more rape. A deformed cannibalistic brother, prostitution, starvation, more rape. This a shamefully misogynistic film that treats rape as a queue for thrills rather than a serious subject. Hidden in the Woods is offensive to good taste, and it should stay hidden.
2. The Human Race (Fantasia 2012)
“Poopie baby pooped his pants” is an actual line of dialogue from the The Human Race, and it accurately sums up how I felt after the screening. This film is an atrocity. The script is demented, skipping from scene to unrelated scene in an attempt to impress genre fans with its utter disregard for humanity. The Human Race tries to be “inclusive” with its willful prejudice against every type of person imaginable. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s morally reprehensible, racist, and sexist.
1. The Devil Inside (January 6; Paramount Insurge)
The Devil Inside is not a finished movie, but somehow that didn’t stop it from getting a wide release. It’s a half-flushed out story that ends abruptly, asking you to visit the website for more information. I don’t know about you, but when I pay to see a movie, I spend my hard earned money with the hopes of being entertained by a finished product. I was not entertained. I’ve never been angrier after leaving a theater.