Connect with us

Editorials

‘Snakes on a Plane’ and the Simple Pleasures of Silly Horror Movies

Published

on

In 2006, a trailer was released for a crazy little movie that caused the entire internet to collectively shit its pants. That little movie was Snakes on a Plane. Yes, the title says it all. A herd of angry snakes was going to be attacking passengers mid-flight, with only Samuel L. Jackson to save them all from certain destruction and death. Naturally.

It was a movie the likes of which we had never seen on the big screen before. So blunt. So exciting. So ridiculous. Bring it on! The memes, the jokes, the mentions and the excitement were on full display awaiting the film’s August 2006 opening.

And then…nobody saw it. 

What had started out as a wave of internet buzz died at the box office and the world moved on to something else. Which is stupid, because I’m here to tell you that Snakes on a Plane is a damn fun movie. And a lot of that comes from the fact that director David R. Ellis didn’t set out to make something revolutionary. Snakes is a silly B-movie and knows it’s a silly B-movie. It knows what the audience wants and what we’re there to see.

We get a basic set up – nothing too complicated or grandiose. We start in Hawaii, where surfer Sean (Nathan Phillips) finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time and sees mega mobster Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) murder the district attorney who has been building a case against his crime ring. Shawn is quickly intercepted by FBI agent Neville Flynn (Jackson), who convinces him to fly to Los Angeles to testify against Kim at his upcoming trial. Kim, the criminal mastermind that he is, puts a shit-ton of snakes in the cargo hold of the plane and rigs their boxes to open mid-flight. To make his plan even more dastardly, he also soaks a bunch of flowers with snake pheromones and sticks them in the cargo hold as well, making the snakes extra aggressive and super pissed off.

That’s it. We get the snakes on the plane, and then we try to survive the snake attacks until we can land the plane safely in L.A. Simple? Yes. Genius? Absolutely – in that balls-out, totally silly, William Castle-y kind of way.

Because we’re not here for mystery. We’re not here for a complex crime thriller. We’re here because we want to see a bunch of passengers attacked by snakes at thirty thousand feet.

And that is exactly what Ellis delivers. When the snakes are released, it’s practically like he yells “Game On!” from somewhere off-camera. We get snakes in vomit bags. In toilets. Falling out of the ventilation system. Crawling under the chairs. Popping out of the instrument panel and attacking our pilot. They bite every body part imaginable. Taylor Kitsch has an unfortunate experience when he tries to bang his girlfriend in the bathroom. One lady gets bitten in the eyeball. Some other dude gets bitten on the dick.

The list goes on, and because horror fans are a deliciously evil breed of audience, we cheer.

And that’s not even including what happens when the passengers begin to fight back. Snakes are tasered, smashed, burned and microwaved. Massive carnage ensues. Lin Shaye saves a baby. We continue cheering.

Along the way, the passengers are, of course, presented with an increasingly difficult series of challenges that must be overcome – leveling the plane when the co-pilot becomes incapacitated, getting the ventilation system reset, sucking the poison out of small child’s snake bite and relying on a gamer played by Kenan Thompson to land the plane when nobody else can.

Snakes on a Plane works because it is a gleeful film that is more than happy to deliver the goods. It embraces its silly premise and leans in hard. There’s something magic about that. It’s a film that begs for popcorn and beer and lots of laughs and cheering. It’s a film that was made to be fun. Full stop.

And it all ends with a bitchin’ video from Cobra Starship. What else do you want?

So yes, Snakes on a Plane was a box office failure, but really, that’s because the audience failed it. Now more than ever, we can really appreciate fun when it heads our way, and if you missed the opportunity to see this entertaining movie, maybe it’s time to remedy that and give it the love that it deserves. Because some things are more than just a ridiculous meme.

Snakes delivers tons of fun in exchange for a mere 90 minutes of your time. It’s a win-win.

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

Published

on

Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

Continue Reading