While it’s true that insects thrive in warmer climates, They Nest dreamed up a species that can withstand the cold, not to mention turn humans into walking roach motels. Despite its dead-of-winter setting, USA Network aired the debut of New Zealand filmmaker Ellory Elkayem — later retitled Creepy Crawlers on home video — in late July of 2000. By then, the cable channel had unleashed several other “when animals attack” telefilms; feral cats (Strays), displaced serpents (Rattled) and one radioactive pooch (Atomic Dog) all took a bite out of mankind. Their next creature-feature, however, would be the first to truly get under people’s skin.

Former Melrose Place stud Thomas Calabro played yet another troubled doctor in They Nest. Infidelity was among Michael Mancini’s most glaring personal issues, but Ben Cahill is simply recovering from his recent divorce and a drinking problem. After freezing up in the ER and being placed on a forced vacation, Doctor Cahill then conveniently retreats to the empty vacation house in Maine he and his now-ex purchased. Needless to say, the timing of Ben’s emotional breakdown is unfortunate.

Before he can even step off the ferry from the mainland, Calabro’s character manages to offend Orr Island’s one and only electrician. Ben’s ignorance and insensitivity bites him square in the ass because Jack Wald, played credibly by John Savage of The Deer Hunter fame, grew up in the very house the good doctor now owns as well as described as a “pigsty” before moving in. Jack also believes he has rights to his childhood home despite what the bank says. So after one very bad first impression, the movie launches into the timeless insider-outsider clash. In its favor, though, They Nest introduces a unique third element to this interpersonal conflict. 

Image: Thomas Calabro and John Savage’s characters talk on a ferry before arriving on Orr Island.

The gradual reveal of those killer roaches far flung from their motherland — really Madagascan hissing and giant cave roaches passed off as the fabricated African armadillo bugs — intensifies an otherwise silly squabble between two adult men. Ben can’t get his electricity turned on and Jack is denied his inheritance. The insects, as if acting as an emissary for an invisible instigator and additional entity in this tiff, do most of their harm without anyone realizing there’s a problem in the first place. This includes incidentally framing Ben for murder once Jack shows up dead.

The theme of invasion operates on three levels in They Nest. First and foremost is the onslaught of dangerous fauna from a distant and stigmatized corner of the world. The African armadillo bugs don’t merely come here to live after stowing away inside a foreigner’s corpse; they aggressively take up space and do away with the biggest competition around. Invasion then extends to the body itself; the visceral violation of self-autonomy, which is fundamental to understanding the “body horror” subgenre, manifests as the roaches set up home inside humans and evolve into their next form.

Lastly and most symbolically, there is Ben Cahill, who is certainly no roach, but to Jack and his ilk, he is treated just the same. The affluent, educated and ofttimes high-sounding doctor poses an immediate threat to their ways. The issue of class also comes up when remembering most folks around here are farmers and fishers. There is no one equipped on Orr to even understand or explain the insects; Ben has to contact a university entomologist in Portland for help after recognizing there was indeed a problem. So not only are Jack and other native Orr residents not equipped to help themselves, they have to be rescued by the city dwellers they despise or, at best, tolerate. It’s adding insult to injury.

Image: An autopsy reveals the bugs nested inside a patient’s body as well as liquidated his organs.

As hoary as the plot of They Nest sounds (and is), Elkayem’s movie possesses an ick factor not always found in TV-movies of the time. The likes of the aforementioned Strays and Rattled barely broach PG-13 territory, whereas this story expands on its antagonists’ natural ability to make everyone squirm. Of course, snakes are a universal enough fear for people, but roaches tap into an “evolutionary aversion [humans] have to greasy, smelly, slimy things.” Anyone who has ever witnessed a roach skitter across their path, or has squashed a roach with their foot knows exactly what this means.

In the vein of the similarly named and plotted ‘88 movie The Nest, this movie just can’t let roaches be roaches. No, these fictitious vermin have pincers — real roaches rarely bite people — that transmit a paralyzing agent. Worst of all, they then crawl through the mouth (or whichever orifice is handy, one might suspect) and turn unwilling humans into their housing. Dean Stockwell’s character, the local sheriff, learned this lesson the hard way in a disgusting set-piece that featured the queen bug shoving herself through the hapless lawman’s kisser. It’s bad enough that actual roaches nibble on leftovers, violate health codes, and carry disease-causing bacteria. Now viewers are left to wonder if these nuisances can also use people as their temporary residences. That kind of science fiction existed well before this movie, although that fact doesn’t make the concept any less effective when executed so vividly. And if one producer had gotten their way, the movie would have put the “cock” in “cockroach”; Elkayem nearly included a scene, one dubbed the “dick shot,” where a bug attacked someone’s manhood.

Calabro’s turn as the droll city transplant turned hero, a well-paced script that balances humor and urgency, and the cold backdrop enhanced by a 35mm presentation — these aspects all help They Nest stand out. The mix of practical and digital special effects, while timely, were also an improvement on the usual grade found in the era’s cheaper horror fare. The attacks are more convincing on account of this. At its core, They Nest is no different from other direct-to-television monster movies from back then. Experienced viewers know exactly how this one will play out ahead of time. Accepting that, this movie is a small yet appreciable step up from the schlocky movies insomniacs used to come across so easily on late-night cable. The director later went on to helm Eight Legged Freaks, and after watching this earlier exercise in bug horror, no one could have done a better job at delivering a deadly but funny infestation to the big screen.

Image: The fully-evolved bugs attack the residents of Orr Island.