Death by Boomer – Left 4 Dead
The world of Left 4 Dead is an unforgiving one. It’s a world that’s been decimated by a virus that turns even the gentlest of folks into a violent, mindless psychopath. The Infected have a single goal: to find what’s left of the human race and bludgeon them to death with their limbs. Death by excessive beatdown doesn’t sound like much fun, but there are far worse ways to go in Left 4 Dead.
For example, a startled Witch could tear you apart, a Tank could Hulk you into a pancake, you could get strangled by a tongue or sprayed with spit that acts much like the blood of a xenomorph. None sound particularly enticing, but there’s one that I fear the most.
Death by Boomer.
Imagine this: you and a friend are strategically clearing a city street of its Infected when you’re suddenly covered head to toe in a torrent of disgusting green vomit. You’re blind now and you smell like a sun-baked asshole. It doesn’t help that you know the substance that’s now covering every inch of your body was, just a few short seconds ago, resting in the bloated, tumor-ridden tummy of a creature of impressive girth.
You’ve hit rock bottom, you think to yourself, because how could things possibly get worse than this? Then a tidal wave of bodies come at you, attracted by the Boomer’s bile. They spill from every open door, window and alleyway and engulf you.
You try to fight back, but you’re blind and your friend is AFK because his parents asked him to take out the trash. That’s how you die. Blind, smelly and in copious amounts of pain. Fuck you, Boomer (and you too, Bob, for leaving me when I needed you most).
