Editorials
[BEST & WORST ’12] David Harley’s List of the Worst Horror Films of 2012!
2012 has been a snoozer of a year for horror for the most part. I can’t think of another year that I’ve been with the site when I’ve been more indifferent, bored, disappointed, and otherwise unamused by most of what I watched. Not like it should come as a huge shock to anyone that went to the theatre this year, but most of what I’ve included on my Worst Of list are studio films that feel like they were distributed and made by people who just don’t care. Marketing and brand loyalty made some of these movies money, not the actual quality of what was on screen – talk about depressing.
This year, one film stands above all others as the worst thing I had the displeasure of sitting through, regardless of genre, and everything else on my list might as well be second place; they’re all equally shallow and uninspired. As always, here’s to looking forward to next year, which will no doubt have a surprise or two, along with Stoker, Antiviral (hopefully), and You’re Next.
Posters (Best/Worst) | Trailers (Best/Worst)
5. Chernobyl Diaries (May 25; Warner Bros.)
Behold Chernobyl Diaries, a film of bad decisions. It takes what seems like forever for the characters to get to the town, they make nothing but bad decisions, and everyone spends most of the movie running away from wildlife.
4. Smiley (October 12; Level 10 Films)
The people who wrote Smiley must think they’re clever, commenting on message board culture, online anonymity, and hackers, and having their plot revolve around Chat Roulette users typing “I did it for the Lulz” into their message boxes. Except it’s apparent they don’t understand what any of these groups are really about or what those issues mean; it’s almost like someone sifted through their outdated meme collection and wrote the script.
3. Morituris (TBD; TBD)
Mr. D gave Morituris a score of “Negative 100 million out of 5 Skulls” when he saw it, so I felt compelled to see what all the fuss was about. It’s pretty reprehensible, a film made to shock you and do little else. There’s barely a plot, which consists of a group of “bad boys” who drive two foreign girls into the woods for a rave, only to rape them after driving for like forty minutes and stopping for a soccer break; there are some undead gladiators that pop up too. The whole thing is extremely mean spirited, and the special effects by Sergio Stivaletti are disappointing – I’m a big fan and his work here is really uninspired. There’s a scene early on that sets the tone for Morituris in a really bad way and if you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about. It’s so obvious the filmmakers are trying to get a rise out of their audience, but it comes out of nowhere and is totally pointless. I think whatever the writers and director wanted to comment on is completely lost in the sensationalism they created.
2. The Devil Inside (January 6; Paramount Insurge)
I think someone forgot to make a third act…
1. Piranha 3DD (June 1; Dimension Films)
Piranha 3DD is a sequel nobody asked for. None of the jokes work, the special effects are terrible looking, and the movie is barely a movie – it struggles to reach the seventy minute mark and not well, I might add. All of the actors look miserable, even the ones that just cameo, and watching them try to mask their moods and demeanors is more fascinating than the film itself. There is absolutely nothing in Piranha 3DD that hits its mark.
Horrible Mention: Paranormal Activity 4 (October 19; Paramount)
I think at this point it’s obvious that as long as these get Paramount into the black, nobody cares.
Horrible Mention: The Raven (April 27; Relativity Media)
If Amanda made traps using Jigsaw’s blueprints and then had him solve them, you would have The Raven.
Horrible Mention: The Apparition (August 24; Warner Bros.)
Easily the worst Costco advertisement of all time. The whole thing doesn’t make any sense. What’s with the mold? Why does the ending look like it takes place post-zombie apocalypse? Why did they spend all that time introducing the neighbors, only to have them completely disappear halfway through the movie? The Apparition plays out like huge chunks of it are missing, but I’m not convinced it would’ve been any better without the poor editing. At least Ashley Greene is cute, right?
Editorials
‘The Vampire Lestat’ Concert Event Launches New Season With The Ultimate Expression Of Fandom
There are thousands of passionate fans decked out in gothic chic and champing at the bit like feral creatures. They’re screaming for Lestat, a legendary vampire-turned-rock star, as if the entire crowd has been glamored into submission.
The entire experience is magic, but not because some supernatural thrall has been activated. What’s going on is even more special. It’s the power of the effusive fandom that’s been authentically assembled by AMC’s sublime Immortal Universe, namely Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, now, The Vampire Lestat.
The Vampire Lestat is far from the first Anne Rice adaptation, and it’s not as if there’s been a lack of erotic vampire material for audiences to sink their teeth into. On June 2nd, during a one-night-only spectacle, New York City’s prestigious Beacon Theatre shook from Sam Reid’s bravado performance and an audience full of adoring fans who had already memorized Lestat’s songs.
It’s clear that The Vampire Lestat just hits differently than its predecessors. It’s become more than just a TV series at this point, and this opulent display of ego, swagger, and pure sex is the perfect way to premiere the new season and give back to the fans who helped make Interview with the Vampire/The Vampire Lestat such a breakout success. It’s exactly the sort of hyperbolized hedonism that would make Lestat cackle.
For all intents and purposes, AMC has successfully created the illusion that this concert/premiere is just one of the many destinations on Lestat and his band’s 54-stop tour that is simultaneously playing out on this season of television. It’s such a sophisticated and thorough level of interactive fan engagement that the audience doesn’t just understand, but also manages to accentuate through its involvement.
It’s a level of seamless synergy that’s not unlike the give-and-take relationship of vampire and victim.
Before the concert started, “LeStans” were sitting in the Beacon and flipping through a fake Rolling Stone issue with Lestat emblazoned on the cover, complete with interviews with the undead frontman inside. Other fans were admiring the vinyl pressing of Lestat’s EP as they walked past a section of undead band merch. Fandom and fantasy blur together, and it all becomes this elaborate, immersive experience. Fan celebration, erotic gothic fantasy, and a lavish rock concert transform into one beautiful thing.
To this point, AMC Global Media’s Chief Content Officer and President of AMC Studios, Dan McDermott, introduced the event by reiterating to fans, “You are the heartbeat of the series.” That’s abundantly clear on nights like this as that heartbeat collectively pulses to this performance. In terms of how AMC engages with The Vampire Lestat’s fans, it’s as bold a reinvention as the season itself.
This intuitive gamble speaks to AMC’s creativity in this department and a fandom that is eager to seize such opportunities. It’s the same innovation that led to zombie walks for The Walking Dead and real-life Los Pollos Hermanos restaurant pop-ups from Breaking Bad. It’s a great way to pump up the audience for The Vampire Lestat and then maintain that enthusiasm for the whole season.
For most series, a rock ‘n’ roll concert just doesn’t make any sense as a promotional tool. The Vampire Lestat finds itself in a very unique position where it can deliver an excellent concert at an iconic theater, but also use it to showcase The Vampire Lestat’s music by Daniel Hart (who was shredding on stage alongside Reid and the rest of their band) and, more than anything, Sam Reid’s endless charisma.
The way in which Reid feeds off of the crowd’s energy, modulating his performance and giving different sections of the Beacon life, is a perfect distillation of the series’ thoughtful relationship with its audience and how it’s become such a breakout success for AMC. AMC Studios President Dan McDermott emphasized that the fans are the reason that the show is still here and why an event like this is even possible. It’s rare to see a series in which every single cog in the machine is so perfectly attuned to its fans. Reid’s fans already cheer whenever they see him, so why not translate that to a concert setting?
It’s clear in this season of television that Reid was born to be a rock star, but it’s surreal to see him effortlessly command the stage — and the audience — at every step of the concert. He recites Shakespeare monologues and bitches out Armand between songs, all while the audience screams in support. For the duration of this concert, Reid is Lestat, and he’s given thousands of fans a memory that’s as immortal as any vampire.
Now bring on the encore and get this show on the road!
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