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Trace’s 5 Worst Horror Movies of 2016

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Mr. Disgusting’s Top 10 Horror Films | Several More Must-See Horror Films | Kalyn’s Top 10 | Trace’s Top 10 | Trace’s Worst 510 Best Posters | Worst Posters | Best Trailers | Luiz Picks the Best Horror Shows | Chris’ Best Blu-rays 2016: The Year Netflix Embraced Horror | 10 Sci-fi Movies You May Have Missed | 13 Most Disturbing Horror Movie Moments |
5 Pretty Good Horror Movies You Might’ve Missed in 2016
[Poll Results] The Bloody Disgusting Readers Chose the 10 Best Horror Movies of 2016
10 Biggest Horror Stories of 2016
Let’s Play Pretend and Give Academy Awards to 2016’s Best Horror Movies


2016 was one of the best years for horror films in a long time. Unfortunately, even the best years have to have a clunker or two, and that is why “worst of” articles exist. It’s not enjoyable to trash films, but it’s a necessary evil that must be done. I didn’t get to see quite as many horror films as I would have liked (only about 70 out of 120), but to see what was up for consideration you can see the list of 2016 horror films I watched on my Letterboxd page. Let’s get started, shall we?

Dishonorable Mentions

There weren’t many truly atrocious horror films released in 2016, but there were plenty of mediocre ones. First there’s the disappointing (sorry) The Disappointments Room (my review). Then there’s the Inception/The Exorcist hybrid that is Incarnate (my review). Thomas Dekker’s ambitious but lackluster directorial debut Jack Goes Home (my review) meant well but was more a pretentious mess than a substantial character study. You can’t forget about the ghost story Visions (my review)*, which was unceremoniously dumped on Netflix back in January, no matter how much you would like to. Wes Craven’s final producing gig gave us the mean-spirited and sloppily put together The Girl in the Photographs. Finally, there’s Greg McLean’s first major American horror film The Darkness, which is so dull that you’d be forgiven for not realizing it was a horror film.

*I just realized I used the exact same phrase in the title of my reviews for Incarnate and Visions. Whoops. My New Year’s resolution for 2017 will be to get more creative with those.

The films listed above may be mediocre, but they cannot compare to the five worst horror films of the year. So without further ado, I give you these turds. The films listed on the next page earned a pretty strong reaction from me, and had I reviewed them they would have earned a 1.5/5 or lower on our skull scale.

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A journalist for Bloody Disgusting since 2015, Trace writes film reviews and editorials, as well as co-hosts Bloody Disgusting's Horror Queers podcast, which looks at horror films through a queer lens. He has since become dedicated to amplifying queer voices in the horror community, while also injecting his own personal flair into film discourse. Trace lives in Denver, CO with his husband and their two dogs. Find him on Twitter @TracedThurman

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Editorials

Tales from ‘Tales from the Crypt’: Exhuming Season Six’s “Only Skin Deep” Episode

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tales from the crypt only skin deep
Sherrie Rose as Molly and Peter Onorati as Carl in "Only Skin Deep".

The penultimate season of Tales from the Crypt (1989–1996) aired its first three episodes on October 31, so it’s understandable that at least one of those three stories is set on Halloween.

Sandwiched between “Let the Punishment Fit the Crime” (Russell Mulcahy, Ron Finley) and “Whirlpool” (Mick Garris, A. L. Katz & Gilbert Adler) is the most severe episode of the bunch. Maybe the entire series? William Malone and Dick Beebe’s “Only Skin Deep” traded the show’s typical sense of fun for startling amounts of bleakness and kink.

“Only Skin Deep” is, apart from the Crypt Keeper’s intro and outro, noticeably unfunny. There are no considerable attempts at making the viewer laugh. Come to think of it, if those bookends had been replaced, and there was more of a sci-fi element in the story, HBO could have easily squeezed this tale into that successor anthology, Perversions of Science (1997). In Crypt, though, “Only Skin Deep” is much too grim for an audience that had become accustomed to campiness and levity.

What makes “Only Skin Deep” feel dark, among other things, is its protagonist. Showing up to a Halloween party where he’s not welcome, and where his former girlfriend (Diane DiLasco) is attending, Carl Schlag (Peter Onorati) first comes across as your standard bitter ex. You soon realize it’s much worse than that, once Carl threatens Linda (“You know, silly me, thinking I gave you what you deserved. If I’d have done that, I’d have killed you”). Now, I haven’t forgotten that Tales from the Crypt was teeming with vile men who did women harm. Yet Carl’s brand of misogynistic menace hits differently—it borders on being too realistic for this kind of series.

tales from the crypt

Mike Vosburg’s EC-style comic cover for “Only Skin Deep”, as seen in the Tales from the Crypt episode.

Despite donning a party mask for much of the episode, Carl can’t ever mask his true nature. The invitation did saycome as you are, after all. That inability to change and be better, however, is why Carl ends up in such a karmic predicament. His outburst of anger at the party attracts the attention of one loner partygoer named Molly (Sherrie Rose, who was also in Season Four’sOn a Deadman’s Chest). Her bone-white, featurelessmaskand body-bag costume don’t initially register as too strange, especially on a night like this. But at a party chock-full of colorful, cartoonish, and lighthearted ensembles, it does look out of place.

Darkness attracts darkness as Carl ditches the party and accompanies the mysterious Molly to her place. Which, by the way, should have been an immediate red flag. But perhaps she’s so hot, he doesn’t seem to mind the serial killer aesthetic. Resembling a warehouse that has been converted into living spaces, but never then decorated to remove the cold, industrial look, Molly’s home (or lair) is as gloomy as this whole episode feels. It’s like the set of a grungy music video, albeit a tad cleaner. The environments in a typical Crypt episode tend to be small, overfilled, and broken-in. Warm, regardless of any weird goings-on. All that empty space in Molly’s hovel, on the other hand, elicits a creepy feeling that Carl was unwise to ignore.

Tales from the Crypt featured more sex than it didn’t, but hands down,Only Skin Deepboasts the steamiest scene in the show’s history. Pushing it over the line, in addition to Onorati showing bare buns and the camera never turning down one of his pelvic thrusts, is the twisted dirty talk. Carl stays in the moment, whereas Molly unleashes charged lines likethe hurt, the anger, give it to meandtake it out on my flesh like you want to. It’s all quite kinky, as well as tied into the story’s theme of pain.

How elseOnly Skin Deepdiffers from other episodes is its twists. Or rather, its lack thereof. Nothing comes as a great surprise here, particularly because the deuteragonist’s ulterior motives are so obvious. By no means is Molly a wolf in sheep’s clothing; her face is a fright mask, she practically reeks of death, and she lives in what can best be described as a serial killer’s hideout. That last-act revelation of Molly’s mask really being her face is also nothing shocking. Cleverness is certainly not this episode’s strength.

tales from the crypt

A page from “…Only Skin Deep!”, as seen in EC Comics’ Tales from the Crypt.

WhileOnly Skin Deepisn’t the most universally loved episode of Tales from the Crypt, it’s an interesting preview of William Malone’s future as a director. Most notably, he went on to helm House on Haunted Hill (1999) and FeardotCom (2002), the former of which was co-written by Dick Beebe, this episode’s writer. Dark Castle Entertainment, that genre house founded by Crypt producers Joel Silver, Robert Zemeckis, and Gilbert Adler, was instrumental in bringing out Malone’s gruesome, over-the-top vision in House on Haunted Hill. However, FeardotCom and Malone’s Masters of Horror episode,Fair-Haired Child, are the most stylistically compatible withOnly Skin Deep.

As one might guess, this episode is nothing like its source material. TheOnly Skin Deep!found in the pages of EC Comics is set during Mardi Gras in New Orleans, and save for its last couple of pages, is pretty sweet in nature. There, a man named Herbert is enamored with a woman he met five years prior to the present-day story. Every year, he has come down to Mardi Gras to see Suzanne, who’s always dressed as a hag-faced witch. Well, this time, Herbert plans on popping the question and marrying someone who is, for the most part, a total stranger. Suzanne accepts his proposal, but with one condition: they stay in costume until they’re officially hitched. You can probably see where this is going

Once they are married, Suzanne remains incognito, even when she and Herbert have consummated their vows. A semi-predictive nightmare then rattles Herbert; he dreamt that Suzanne’s real face was as wizened as her mask. Finally, in his haste to find out the truth, Herbert winds up killing his new wife. Faceless and well on her way to bleeding out, the dying Suzanne manages to say she never wore a mask.

For more traditional EC-style ghastliness, your best bet is reading the comic. It’s wickedly sad. For something less conventional, as far as Tales from the Crypt goes, the role-reversing adaptation is worth watching. It’s not the best this show had to offer, although Malone’s visual style, plus the sexual abandon, does set the episode apart. If nothing else,Only Skin Deepleaves an impression that, even years later, shows no signs of fading.

Season Six of Tales from the Crypt can be streamed on Shudder, starting on June 5.


Tales from Tales from the Crypt celebrates the show’s Shudder premiere by singling out one episode from each season. So don’t even think about changing that dial, boys and ghouls. More spot-“frights” are to come.

tales from the crypt

Carl discovers Molly’s collection of human ‘masks’ in the Tales from the Crypt episode, “Only Skin Deep”.

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