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[BEST & WORST ’12] Mr. Disgusting’s List of the Worst Horror Films of 2012!

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I recently has a few conversations with people about posting “Worst of the Year” lists as it’s in a way “kicking a dog when it’s down.” Time could be better spent sending positive energy into the world, but on the same token it’s our job to critique films; we are supposed to provide advice on what you should and shouldn’t see.

With that said, it doesn’t provide me with any pleasure to list out this year’s biggest disappointments – but without the bad, how can we learn from other people’s mistakes? If there’s anything to take away from these films, it’s learning what not to do in film. The biggest lesson this year? Don’t pretend to be a horror fan to cash in on our loyalty (I’m looking at you Smiley).

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Worst) | Evan Dickson (Best/Worst) | David Harley (Best/Worst) | Lonmonster (Best/Worst) | Corey Mitchell (Best of Fest) | Supporting Staff (Best & Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best Novels)
Posters (Best/Worst) | Trailers (Best/Worst)

MR. DISGUSTING’S (BRAD MISKA) BOTTOM 10 OF 2012

10. The Devil Inside (January 6; Paramount Pictures)

The “safest” horror movie ever made, featuring a few scares and a bunch if exposition. And while I’ve seen worse movies in my life, the lack of a third act is unforgivable. Who’s idea was it to end the movie with a website link for the finale? Epic fail. A fail for the ages.

9. Aftershock (TBD; Dimension Films)

Eli Roth is easily one of my favorite horror filmmakers, which is why this production was one of my most anticipated at TIFF. Unfortunately, this docu-styled thriller’s tone is unfocused and confusing. I was trying to figure out if is was supposed to be fun, scary, or was it supposed to be mean-spirited in an attempt to convey a message? At one point you’ll see an incredibly awesome gory kill, then there will be a joke or a joke-like death scene, and then rape. It’s impossible to emotionally get behind a movie that’s all over the place. It’s just so bizarre when you have hilarious moments trickled in-between extreme, realistic violence as if to make light of a serious situation. On a positive note, the scope was pretty huge for an indie production, and some of the actual earthquake scenes are great… when the movie finally gets to them.

8. No One Lives (TBD; Anchor Bay Films)

No One Lives, a WWE production, is mean-spirited horror that sets the genre back nearly a decade. It’s an obvious Hostel wannabe bloated with bad characters and acting. Take solice in the fact that the gore is out of control good. If only the filmmakers didn’t take the movie so seriously, it could have been cheesy fun.

7. The Apparition (August 24; Warner Bros. Pictures)

A haunter bogged down with heavy exposition, lack of rules, and a lackluster performance from Sebastian Stan. It’s unfocused and overdeveloped with the fingerprints of studio execs all over it.

6. Lords of Salem (April 26, 2013; Anchor Bay Films)

All the power to Rob Zombie for making the movie HE wants, but there are people out there who rely on him for entertainment. Rob Zombie’s “Sheri Moon” (as I like to call it), also known as The Lords of Salem, is a colorful and crafty spooker that is nothing but a strange shrine to his wife, Sheri. Horror fans will be disappointed and Rob Zombie fans should be too, assuming they don’t fool themselves into believing this is high art. It’s actually self-indulgent art.

5. The Bay (November 2; Freestyle Releasing)

I’m crazy perplexed by the love for The Bay, a film that’s so lackluster even the studio bailed on it (Lionsgate dumped is through Freestyle Releasing). The Found-Footage angle doesn’t really work in this one, mostly because the characters are constantly talking to the camera updating the viewer, while some footage isn’t even seen, just heard (like the cop car scene outside the house). Isopods aren’t scary, and the ending is so laughable that it immediately erases anything you may have found believable. I was so bored watching this that I started to wish I were at work instead. That’s insane.

4. Paranormal Activity 4 (October 19; Paramount Pictures)

I’m a Paranormal Activity sympathizer, meaning it takes a lot to disappoint me. PA 4 is the first in the franchise to do a face plant, tripping on the curb and losing all of its teeth. There’s zero bite, as none of the scares are elevated (unless you take this as a pun), and the mythology seemingly goes backwards. It’s as if I were watching a PA fan film, which is crazy considering how good directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman did on PA 3.

3. House at the End of the Street (September 21; Universal Pictures)

To call House at the End of the Street original it would have had to have been released in 1959, one year before Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho hit theaters. This means that the ideas presented are roughly 50 years too late, leaving audiences in a near coma only to be revived by the various shots of Jennifer Lawrence’s T&A. While its not bad-bad, it’s just so poorly conceived that it should have premiered on Lifetime.

2. Berberian Sound Studio (TBD; IFC Films)

I hated this movie with every fiber if my being. It’s pretentious filmmaking that’s loaded with arrogance. While the movie looks stunning, there’s absolutely no substance. It takes forever to get to the point, and when we get to the point, there’s literally nothing there. If anything, I wanted to see what was on the screen, not in the studio.

1. Smiley (October 12; Fever Production)

A jumbled mess of ideas, a plot riddled with holes, and an ending that will leave you frowning, Smiley is an abomination. Made solely to sell to a massive fan base, Smiley proves that no matter how popular you are, people still want to see GOOD movies. Every single facet of Smiley is bad, and the obvious result of poor decision making (from the setting to the cast, plot and gore level). It’s a horror movie made by people who obviously aren’t huge fans of the genre.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Everything bad about Found Footage can be seen in 388 Arletta Avenue, a movie produced by Splice and Cube director Vincenzo. The execution delivers an unbearably bland and generic thriller that’s also visually uninteresting. ParaNorman is a farce that so many people fell for. It’s a horror made for horror fans by people who apparently haven’t seen in a single horror movie in their lives. It’s bland and generic, with a horrible twist. Seemingly nothing is at stake, except for maybe your free time. If anything, the movie looks good, but who cares if there’s no substance to the art? (Commence Bloody Disgusting reader rage!) As for Lionsgate’s The Possession, first and foremost, there’s no such thing as the Devil or demons in the Jewish religion, which make the entire plot a farce. I’m also incredibly aware of the actual dibbuk box story, and followed it almost live on blogs and on eBay. The true stories are 100x more terrifying than anything on screen. I’ve said this about a million times before but loud isn’t scary, and the fact that the family live in an empty house makes everything feel fantastical. It’s not the worst movie ever, but it’s pretty weak sauce.

Horror movie fanatic who co-founded Bloody Disgusting in 2001. Producer on Southbound, V/H/S/2/3/94, SiREN, Under the Bed, and A Horrible Way to Die. Chicago-based. Horror, pizza and basketball connoisseur. Taco Bell daily. Franchise favs: Hellraiser, Child's Play, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Scream and Friday the 13th. Horror 365 days a year.

Editorials

‘Immaculate’ – A Companion Watch Guide to the Religious Horror Movie and Its Cinematic Influences

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The Devils - Immaculate companion guide
Pictured: 'The Devils' 1971

The religious horror movie Immaculate, starring Sydney Sweeney and directed by Michael Mohan, wears its horror influences on its sleeves. NEON’s new horror movie is now available on Digital and PVOD, making it easier to catch up with the buzzy title. If you’ve already seen Immaculate, this companion watch guide highlights horror movies to pair with it.

Sweeney stars in Immaculate as Cecilia, a woman of devout faith who is offered a fulfilling new role at an illustrious Italian convent. Cecilia’s warm welcome to the picture-perfect Italian countryside gets derailed soon enough when she discovers she’s become pregnant and realizes the convent harbors disturbing secrets.

From Will Bates’ gothic score to the filming locations and even shot compositions, Immaculate owes a lot to its cinematic influences. Mohan pulls from more than just religious horror, though. While Immaculate pays tribute to the classics, the horror movie surprises for the way it leans so heavily into Italian horror and New French Extremity. Let’s dig into many of the film’s most prominent horror influences with a companion watch guide.

Warning: Immaculate spoilers ahead.


Rosemary’s Baby

'Rosemary's Baby' - Is Paramount's 'Apartment 7A' a Secret Remake?! [Exclusive]

The mother of all pregnancy horror movies introduces Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow), an eager-to-please housewife who’s supportive of her husband, Guy, and thrilled he landed them a spot in the coveted Bramford apartment building. Guy proposes a romantic evening, which gives way to a hallucinogenic nightmare scenario that leaves Rosemary confused and pregnant. Rosemary’s suspicions and paranoia mount as she’s gaslit by everyone around her, all attempting to distract her from her deeply abnormal pregnancy. While Cecilia follows a similar emotional journey to Rosemary, from the confusion over her baby’s conception to being gaslit by those who claim to have her best interests in mind, Immaculate inverts the iconic final frame of Rosemary’s Baby to great effect.


The Exorcist

Dick Smith makeup The Exorcist

William Friedkin’s horror classic shook audiences to their core upon release in the ’70s, largely for its shocking imagery. A grim battle over faith is waged between demon Pazuzu and priests Damien Karras (Jason Miller) and Lankester Merrin (Max von Sydow). The battleground happens to be a 12-year-old, Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair), whose possessed form commits blasphemy often, including violently masturbating with a crucifix. Yet Friedkin captures the horrifying events with stunning cinematography; the emotional complexity and shot composition lend elegance to a film that counterbalances the horror. That balance between transgressive imagery and artful form permeates Immaculate as well.


Suspiria

Suspiria

Jessica Harper stars as Suzy Bannion, an American newcomer at a prestigious dance academy in Germany who uncovers a supernatural conspiracy amid a series of grisly murders. It’s a dance academy so disciplined in its art form that its students and faculty live their full time, spending nearly every waking hour there, including built-in meals and scheduled bedtimes. Like Suzy Bannion, Cecilia is a novitiate committed to learning her chosen trade, so much so that she travels to a foreign country to continue her training. Also, like Suzy, Cecilia quickly realizes the pristine façade of her new setting belies sinister secrets that mean her harm. 


What Have You Done to Solange?

What Have You Done to Solange

This 1972 Italian horror film follows a college professor who gets embroiled in a bizarre series of murders when his mistress, a student, witnesses one taking place. The professor starts his own investigation to discover what happened to the young woman, Solange. Sex, murder, and religion course through this Giallo’s veins, which features I Spit on Your Grave’s Camille Keaton as Solange. Immaculate director Michael Mohan revealed to The Wrap that he emulated director Massimo Dallamano’s techniques, particularly in a key scene that sees Cecilia alone in a crowded room of male superiors, all interrogating her on her immaculate status.


The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

In this Giallo, two sisters inherit their family’s castle that’s also cursed. When a dark-haired, red-robed woman begins killing people around them, the sisters begin to wonder if the castle’s mysterious curse has resurfaced. Director Emilio Miraglia infuses his Giallo with vibrant style, with the titular Red Queen instantly eye-catching in design. While the killer’s design and use of red no doubt played an influential role in some of Immaculate’s nightmare imagery, its biggest inspiration in Mohan’s film is its score. Immaculate pays tribute to The Red Queen Kills Seven Times through specific music cues.


The Vanishing

The Vanishing

Rex’s life is irrevocably changed when the love of his life is abducted from a rest stop. Three years later, he begins receiving letters from his girlfriend’s abductor. Director George Sluizer infuses his simple premise with bone-chilling dread and psychological terror as the kidnapper toys with Red. It builds to a harrowing finale you won’t forget; and neither did Mohan, who cited The Vanishing as an influence on Immaculate. Likely for its surprise closing moments, but mostly for the way Sluizer filmed from inside a coffin. 


The Other Hell

The Other Hell

This nunsploitation film begins where Immaculate ends: in the catacombs of a convent that leads to an underground laboratory. The Other Hell sees a priest investigating the seemingly paranormal activity surrounding the convent as possessed nuns get violent toward others. But is this a case of the Devil or simply nuns run amok? Immaculate opts to ground its horrors in reality, where The Other Hell leans into the supernatural, but the surprise lab setting beneath the holy grounds evokes the same sense of blasphemous shock. 


Inside

Inside 2007

During Immaculate‘s freakout climax, Cecilia sets the underground lab on fire with Father Sal Tedeschi (Álvaro Morte) locked inside. He manages to escape, though badly burned, and chases Cecilia through the catacombs. When Father Tedeschi catches Cecilia, he attempts to cut her baby out of her womb, and the stark imagery instantly calls Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury’s seminal French horror movie to mind. Like Tedeschi, Inside’s La Femme (Béatrice Dalle) will stop at nothing to get the baby, badly burned and all. 


Burial Ground

Burial Ground creepy kid

At first glance, this Italian zombie movie bears little resemblance to Immaculate. The plot sees an eclectic group forced to band together against a wave of undead, offering no shortage of zombie gore and wild character quirks. What connects them is the setting; both employed the Villa Parisi as a filming location. The Villa Parisi happens to be a prominent filming spot for Italian horror; also pair the new horror movie with Mario Bava’s A Bay of Blood or Blood for Dracula for additional boundary-pushing horror titles shot at the Villa Parisi.


The Devils

The Devils 1971 religious horror

The Devils was always intended to be incendiary. Horror, at its most depraved and sadistic, tends to make casual viewers uncomfortable. Ken Russell’s 1971 epic takes it to a whole new squeamish level with its nightmarish visuals steeped in some historical accuracy. There are the horror classics, like The Exorcist, and there are definitive transgressive horror cult classics. The Devils falls squarely in the latter, and Russell’s fearlessness in exploring taboos and wielding unholy imagery inspired Mohan’s approach to the escalating horror in Immaculate

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